Killing Swans

Chapter 10 - Masked person

Past

"Here you go, for the way" I smiled at Josh, handing him his coffee mug to go. I had done so every day for the past two months that I had been living with Josh now. And it had been amazing so far. 

At first, I feared that it would be too early for the two of us to spend that much time together and have that kind of commitment, but on the other hand, it wasn't like I had much of a choice. And Josh was too good of a guy anyway to let me live on the streets, he'd probably rather live there himself than letting me be homeless. Of course there was a lot of pressure now, that this relationship just had to work out, or else I wouldn't know where to go, but actually, I had fallen for Josh, hard. Actually I-

"I love you" I smiled, leaning up and kissing his lips. Josh smiled into the kiss, as he used his free hand to pull me close by my waist. God I loved when he was wearing suits and looked all business man like. It was hella sexy in my opinion. "I love you too" he grinned, pecking me on the lips one last time, before releasing me from his hold. Josh loved me and I knew he didn't just say it like that, he actually loved me, a lot. And I loved him. It was an overwhelming feeling and though the last few months weren't easy, Josh made them better. 

I had a hard time at first, saying goodbye to my family mentally as well as my childhood. My parents didn't call, they didn't try to find me again and even blocked me and my number. It hurt so unbelievably much that the first week that I stayed with Josh, I basically just cried all night long in his arms, clinging onto him and wishing for things to be different. To have a mom and dad again and also my little brother, who hadn't contacted me either. I texted him once, asking how he was, but he never replied. 

After the second week, when Josh wanted to take me shopping to get me a few more clothes than the once I had brought with me, I decided that he had already done enough for me and so I would rather sneak into my old home at night and steal the rest of my clothes. Josh agreed and drove me there, in the middle of the night, but when I managed to climb the window to my old room, I looked into an empty space. They had thrown it all out. The pictures on the walls, my bed, my clothes, everything. They erased me from their lives just like that, as if I had never existed. That night I broke down again, crying for hours, but Josh didn't mind, he just made sure that I would be alright. 

And after a while, I was. Sure it was still hard and when I thought about the fact now, that my own parents cut me out of their lives, it hurt like a bitch, but in the end I was ok. I had Josh after all. Over these two months, our feelings didn't only develop into love, but our relationship also matured. We really were like a happy couple who had just moved in together, at the right time in their relationship and it wasn't even awkward. I mean, I was in ballet school all day anyway, even on the weekends and Josh was at work, sometimes even late, but the mornings and nights we spend together, enjoying each other's company. We cooked, we watched TV or went out for a stroll. But we were happy. Together. 

"I told you not to do that, it makes me feel like you are my wife and we are living in the fifties" Josh chuckled, glancing at the mug in his hand and making me laugh. Yeah ok, I was still trying to please him, a lot, but not only because he let me live with him and took care of my bills for the time being, but also because I loved him and I wanted to see him happy. And Josh made me happy. He may have not made me a coffee to go in the morning yet, but he always cared for me and anyway, he was already doing enough with keeping me alive, not homeless and happy. 

"Well I think I should put on one of those puffy dresses as well and then we can play a little Mad Man" I joked, making Josh smile. He shook his head at me, kissing my cheek one more time. He glanced at his watch, before he sat down at the kitchen isle, where I was just preparing myself a breakfast, since I had a noon class and trained a little longer last night, so I was in no hurry. "Don't you have to go? I thought you had a meeting with your dad now?" I asked, as I put down my coffee as well, sitting on one of the barstools opposite to my boyfriend.