Killing Swans

Chapter 29 - Eternal Hell

Present 

"There is the Birthday boy! Come here Henry!" Chloe cheered, falling around my neck and hugging me. I was surprised by her sudden attack, but I hugged her back, chuckling a little awkwardly and looking at the people behind her, which were Soo and Thomas, the rest would probably come soon anyway. Chloe pulled away and next was Soo, who hugged me, handing me a present. "Here Henry, for you! Chloe picked it out so it is perfect...just like her" Soo smiled shyly and I chuckled, taking the wrapped box out of her hands. "Thanks you two" I smiled, laying it down on the table next to the rest of the presents. 

"Uhh a chocolate fountain! Come on Soo!" Chloe exclaimed, taking her...friend? Girlfriend? Taking her Soo by the hand and pulling her into the apartment, letting me greet Thomas, who was also handing me a present, which very obviously was a bottle of wine, but that was nice. "I think you can guess what it is. Anyway, I still had it and it's a good one so... happy birthday Henry!" Thomas chuckled, also hugging me and I smiled, briefly hugging him back and then letting him push past me and into the apartment as well, where the other guests were already having fun I suppose. 

Yes I was having a birthday party. Not my idea...but Josh's. 

He insisted. It was my twenty-second birthday and Josh wanted to throw me a big birthday party in our apartment with all of my friends and colleges, celebrating me and my birthday. I wasn't entirely sure why he would want that, it wasn't like he celebrated my twenty-first birthday much, I mean he took me to a restaurant, but then he slapped me when I didn't seem happy and grateful enough, so why would he do so now? As an apology? No, that wasn't Josh's style, he would just buy me an expensive present or take me out for dinner or something, not invite strangers into our home, where he beat me up almost daily. So why? 

To show off what a good boyfriend he was. Yes, he wanted to have people on his side. I mean, he had already Milo on his side, so why not win everybody else I knew over as well? He wanted to show off our good and happy relationship, where he would organise a whole party just for me and make me feel like the most important person in the world. Even when the reality would look very different, he just needed the public to believe different for one night, so he could have even more control over me. Because if everybody would tell me what a great guy he was, maybe I would believe it as well? Maybe he thought that then I was more bound to him, because even if I would tell somebody about what he did to me, nobody would believe me. And he was kind of right about that. 

So yeah, I did not feel happy about this party at all. I didn't feel good, I felt fucking horrible, especially since I knew that to some extend I had to pretend to be happy and grateful about Josh for a whole evening in our own home, where I had bled and cried so many times on this very floor. But there was nothing I could do about it, I just kind of had to pull through this, because otherwise I would regret it very much once everybody would have left. But for now I had to face many hours of people talking to me and congratulating me on my great great boyfriend that I had and acting happy about all of this. But what else was new?

When the doorbell rang again and I opened it, I looked at Milo and Adrian, who were apparently having a heated discussion. "Adrian you have to be fucking with me, you can not ask me to believe that you think that Mickey MOUSE is a fucking Seal with ears, are you fucking with me??" Milo asked, losing his mind with Adrian apparently, who held a Micky mouse stuffed animal in his arms. "Apparently you have never seen a mouse, this is not a mouse it's a seal. Here Henry, for you. Micky Mouse the seal, so you know that you can still be child, even if you are getting older" Adrian said, handing me the stuffed animal and I raised my brows, very surprised by all of this and lost of words but that was Adrian. 

"Oh ah thank you Adrian that is very...sweet of you" I smiled and Adrian just nodded at me, before he spotted something in the apartment and I thought it would be the chocolate fountain but he just said "Uh olives!" Adrian pushed past me and Milo groaned, throwing his head back in agony and I chuckled at seeing him in his misery. "God he is killing me! Ugh Henry either I will get shit-faced tonight or you have to stay by my side and save me from Adrian and his weird mind" Milo whined, making me laugh. Milo chuckled as well, before he stepped forward, hugging me tightly and that was the first hug I actually, really really craved today. My heart was beating a little faster now that Milo was so close and I didn't dare to think about the reason for that, since I kind of already knew it...