Not Some Princess ✓

21. History repeats

"I don't want your apology. I just want you to eat, for now." He turned around and placed a plate in front of me of Indian food.

That to, my favourite.

Dal Makhani and naan bread.

My eyes watered.

It had been so long since I had eaten this.

"Em? Emily?"

"Will you be my boyfriend?" I looked at him sincerely and observed him intricately.

To say he was shocked would be an understatement.

Because he just laughed and turned around to plate his food.

He thought it was a joke.

I blinked.

It wasn't.

But I didn't possess it in me to correct him.

I guess that's what you get for being snarky all the time.

I should be used to this by now.

Even though the statement had come out of nowhere, when I uttered it I meant it. As if it was in there somewhere inside, dawdling for the right moment to get out. And now that it had, I could not stop dwelling on about it. I gulped as I looked at Ray's broad back and my eyes watered again, this time for a different reason.

I was ready for more.

And I had no idea what to do about it.

I should probably tell mom.

I should probably call Dr Green.

I should probably go and have an existential crisis right now.

But I had so many emotions flowing through me all at once. My chest felt heavy. My hands were frozen. And my lips had forgotten to move. I was in some kind of trance. All the while Ray was humming to himself. Pouring something in a cup.

I should go.

Right now.

I looked down at my plate and wanted to hit myself for thinking that.

I will leave after eating.

Yes.

That's a good plan.

I took a bite and started with eating the, as expected, luscious bits of my food when Ray seated beside me.

"How is it? I have been trying this for some time but it's still new to me." He looked at me expectantly.

Ugh. His eyes. I hate these beautiful gateways to heaven that make me wanna stare at them all day. It's almost as if his mere presence is punching my heart into overtime.

And it didn't help that he tried making Indian food for me. About a month ago he had not even had Indian food. It was like he knew all the right buttons and was pressing them all at the perfect time.

"Is it that bad that you're crying?" Ray looked at me anxiously, his concerned gaze making me even more of a mushy mess.

Ugh. Raymond Fernsby.

What are you doing to me?

"So?" He raised his eyebrows.

"It's delicious. You should just leave your corporate stuff and become a chef, seriously." I meant every word of it, but currently, I was too busy in revelling at the fact that I could say it out loud that I was ready to have a relationship. Even thinking about it makes me smile. And telling him about it makes me giddy.

Except telling him is a risk.

A risk I don't know yet if I am willing to take.

"Why are you crying then?" Ray looked at me with worry lines marking his forehead.

"This is really great." I gulped my bite and nodded. This meaning him.

I didn't know if he meant it when he said he wanted more, he could have meant something else for all I know. Like I want you to eat more healthy. I want more stuff in your kitchen. I want more movie marathons. Anything. And the mere possibility of him not wanting what I want right now...that is enough for me to run for the hills and become a hobo. Or at a more realistic note, run right back home.

I took a deep breath. I couldn't stop myself from smiling just when he refilled my cup which when I had picked it up, only to find it empty.

"One day, when you will trust me enough, I will take the risk of lowering your coffee intake." He began.

I looked up and met his eyes. He looked happy too, his lips were tilted upwards and his eyes held a certain emotion that something in my heart wished was identical to mine. My heart excessively liked the concept of 'one day' a bit too much. It ensured we were going to be together for a long time.

And I did trust him. But I would not confide to him that. Otherwise, he would begin with the devil's job.

"Okay, I wanted to ask you something." He put his spoon down.

"What?" I asked with my mouth full. It came out more like 'whaaa'

Manners what?

"The company will celebrate its fifth anniversary next month. I need a date. And I want you to be mine." He looked at me anxiously.

"Nah, I am not in the mood." I smiled as I felt the sense of déjà vu.

He grinned and shook his head.

I want to be the reason for that smile.

I cleared my throat.

He is too precious.

Too important.

And for once, I wasn't frightened of these intense feelings that I once trotted away from.

I rather feared losing him.

But there stood this other side of mine that was making other plans.

***

A/n: Okay, so this chapter was really difficult for me to write because I just changed the entire course of this book. Which meant, letting thousands of words go down the drain. And my lazy ass is having a hard time accepting that. So yeah, feel free to come out of the screen and hug me lol.

~Ria

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