IT ISN'T YOU

29| I'm Y/n

Flashback (part-3)

"How did it go?" My mom asked once I stepped inside a familiar black vehicle, throwing my bag in the backseat.

"Hmm?"
"How was the first day in here?"

I sat on my seat and shifted comfortably, letting my back muscles relax against the leather seats. "Good", was all I replied her with, before turning away from her and placing my hand against my cheek, staring out of the car. Everything that happened today almost felt unreal.

From a boy getting bullied, to me making a friend. Emotions scattered all over the place, nervousness and anxiety practically ruling over me, today...was a little hard too. I remember everything, but one thing, or more like one person a major part of today's memory now.

My lips involuntarily curved up in a slight smile as a boy's face flashed in my mind.

Park...Jimin

"Why are you smiling?" I whipped my head to my left side, watching as my mom calmly drove the car, a hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gear, her eyes focused on the path ahead. I felt anxious again, my hands, now cold as I processed her question. I gulped. What do I say to her? I made a friend today for the first time but it's a guy and his name is Park Jimin. Only if it was that easy.

With every ounce of courage that I could muster, I shrugged and said, "Nothing, the teachers here are really respectable," I paused when Jimin's curled up figure on the floor popped up in my mind, how the teacher had taken immediate action towards the bullies.

"and kind..." I whispered.

"Hmm," my mom said exhaling deeply.

I turned my head towards the window again. When did you get so good at lying Y/n? I knew that lying to my mom wasn't the greatest thing in the world, but I don't even want to imagine what will happen if she finds out. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, me staring out of the window all the time, afraid to make eye contact with her.

"Did someone know?" She asked breaking the silence that settled in.

"About?"

"Your real name," she said sternly.

"No..." I replied softly.

Using my real name in schools is a big 'no-no' by my mother. Though using Y/n instead of something random was valid a while ago, until one day. The day which completely changed everything,  my mind didn't even get a chance to process what happened. It snatched one of the most important things from me, what a child never wants to be taken away from him/her. 

Parent's unconditional love, along with my real name and identity. 

Being hated by the tender age of eight is not very pleasing, where all your parents want you to do is study and get good grades. No hugs, no affection, no holding hands. I was always depriving of something that you call a family.

No warmth, no kindness, no trips together, no lap in which I could climb, and no arms which would wrap around me and cradle me to sleep.

Sounds scary.

The home wasn't a place I was eager to go back to after school like other kids in my class, I would again be told to spend the entire day in my room, working on my grades, doing my homework, staring at the ceiling, scribbling, watching teens walk past my house with their friends, laughing. Watching kids on their little tricycles, cycling with their parents by their side, smiling at them with utmost care and affection.