HIS Young Mate: "Sequel to Her Young Mate"

Part Thirty: Heavy

I wake up to the sound of the door to Durst's room closing behind him. I turn to see he's leaving, but don't rush after him, as I'm sure he needs space still.

I feel awkward being in his room, which I had just gotten over. I lay in his bed for a moment contemplating if I should stay or go. Honestly it wouldn't be much different from being alone in my room- because I doubt Kaylee is there, and if she is I don't want her looking after me or worrying. I feel like I want to reconnect to her, but also know that she has so much going on in her own life. Between trying to catch up to the standards of scouting and being with Hunter she's got her hands full. I don't want to bother her anymore than I already have.

One thing is certain- I smell, I'm dirty, and a few of the deeper cuts I got from running are stinging from the sap of the branches that caused them. I need a shower. Considering I'm mostly naked I realize I don't want to make the walk of shame to my own room anyway, and settle on taking a shower here and wearing his clothes.

I make sure the water isn't too hot, because my body has been running about a million times warmer lately. I'm growing and moving at about a million miles per hour lately. I notice it when I look down at my arms and legs, though still long they are stronger, more cut, and even in my weakened state they hold up well. I wonder if I've aged at all, or if being eighteen is old enough for my anomaly to be disregarded from here on out- seeing as I haven't had an appointment with the pack doctor in a while, and no one seems to be pressuring me for one either. Needless to say, I feel older- but that may just be all in my head, or maybe it's true, because Durst and I have not yet consummated our relationship. Not for my lack of trying, but I can see now why he didn't want it to go, the way I had pushed for it to, the other night. When I get back to his room and change I have an itch to drink some of his liquor, but decide against it, considering I made a complete fool of myself the last time I drank. I make a silent promise to myself to never get that intoxicated again- well at least around him.

I settle on laying back in bed.

I'm tired, and my bones are aching- another sign of growing- and I know I need to make it to training tomorrow if I don't want to get chewed out for missing two days in a row. I swear sometimes I'm just not cut out for pack life. Durst wants me to be, he wants it al. Having kids, following the pack, being loyal to Danny at all times- but I don't know if I can give him that. I know I can't give him some of those things. Everything honestly feels like too much, and I just need a break from it. Maybe that's why I spaced out and changed yesterday, and forgot all about it. I just have too much on me right now. I need to get something off of my chest or my back. If I don't do something I might snap- I might do exactly what Durst is worrying I will- and go rogue.

The weight of everything becomes oddly comforting suddenly, as I just feel heavy in Durst's bed, and it feels softer and softer the worse I feel on the inside. Soon I'm falling asleep, and can't fight it any longer. I don't wake again until the smell of whiskey and forest circles around me, and so do his arms.

I'm so overwhelmingly relaxed by his embrace that I turn and press my forehead to his chest, and nuzzle his neck. I just want closer, and he doesn't complain or fight it, I just suddenly want more of him. I can tell part of it is our bond- that animal instinct of us being mates- but I also know it's much more. The fact that he's always been there for me, that trauma bond from when I was a child running into his arms, the safety he's always given me. I missed this feeling. So much has been tossed around and messed up, but it's these moments that make things feel so certain.

"I love you, I'm so sorry-" he cuts my words off by tilting my head up and kissing me gently.

"It's okay, we don't need to talk, just love me- I just want this right now," He says, and I nod, press my forehead against his, and then go back for more of his warm lips. His hands move to my back, and he pulls me closer to him, and I wrap my legs around him. He slows us down, though by pecking my lips, and then kissing the tears that had escaped my eyes away.