HIS Young Mate: "Sequel to Her Young Mate"

Part Forty Seven: Two Good Men and a Coward

"Has he woken up yet?"

"No." Daniel says. It's just the three of us; me, my brother, and the father we never knew. I look at my brother, his eyes are on the man laying in the bed, his face is tense. "He looks different than I remember, I think it's why I didn't recognize him."

"You were both younger the last time you saw him." I remind him, I didn't want him to have any guilt
for not recognizing him. Im surprised I had realized it at all- if I wasn't trying so hard to put a reason to my feelings for him I wouldn't have myself. "What are we going to do?" I ask quietly. He grabs my hand firmly.

"I don't know." He says flatly. "Cora thinks we should try kindness. She's reminded me that I'm an 'understanding man, with compassion, and a deep sense of forgiveness'. Her words." He says this plainly, but his furrowed brow says differently of how he actually feels. I can tell he's battling the expectations people put on him and how he truly feels. I understand that feeling all too well.

"What says you?" I ask. I can't look at the man again, not right away, so I keep my gaze on Daniel. He's fighting his darkest emotions, I see that, but I'm still surprised when he speaks them.

"I want to tell him every gory detail of how our mother died. How her blood was on my face and hands- hot and sticky and coppery, and how I still feel it on my skin sometimes in the middle of the night. I want to tell him how I had imagined for years and years that you and our sisters had been slaughtered like innocent lambs, by wolves so evil, that there wasn't a shred of soul left in them. How ultimately all of that led to my wife being raped, and nearly killed. I want him to feel even a fracture of the torture he put us all through- until I find out why he left us. Why he left even though he's strong, and capable, and could have protected us against all of it. If he had stayed. I want to know why he was such a coward. How I could possibly be cut from the same cloth, when I look into my children's eyes and would rather die than leave them- ever. I want to know why he went rogue, why he didn't fight it to stay with us- we've both done it." Daniel squeezes my hand again, when I feel it tremble. In very few words he admits to me that he's known all along what I've been going through, that he's known I was fighting going rogue, and it terrifies me. "Don't worry, I'm not upset." He doesn't look at me, just continues to stare at the man in the bed across from us. Only a fraction of relief calms me enough to speak.

"Danny you're a very strong man, you've always been a good man... maybe he isn't as strong as you. Some days I feel like I'm barely hanging on." I look down at my feet. As we speak of it I want to run, but I won't, and I won't tell Daniel I feel that way. I do want to be better, and to hold on to my family as tightly as I can. I want to be like Daniel- not this man laying in this bed, all alone.

We sit in the quiet for a long time. The man doesn't stir, though we can see his wounds healing, and every once in a while there's a soft tinging 'tink' sound when a piece of buckshot is pushed out. Frea had come by to ask if we wanted her to take care of his wounds, but Daniel told her no, that he would heal himself. She looked bothered by this, but listened, and left. Daniel stood to pace, but I was too tired and weak. When Durst came into the room with plates of food I perked up. "I thought you might be hungry." He says, as he brings me the plate he kisses the top of my head, and I'm more comforted in that moment than I have been in a while. I eat eagerly, but Daniel shakes his head when Durst goes to hand him his. Durst nods and puts it down on a nightstand. "Everyone wants to know what to do tonight, it's almost time to turn."

"Well, the one we feared is here. So calm their nerves- have Cora help with that. I want the rest of you to do your runs as normal, and let me know if anything or anyone comes up." Daniel says. He's answered my question, that I would have asked. Will we keep waiting for him to wake up?