Letters to My Heartbreaker

18

As much as I wanted to enjoy the show, the fact that Emma, Perri, and Trayvon are in the same place as I am bothered me. I know that I should stop caring about those betrayers, but... I don't know... Madaling sabihin na huwag ko na silang bigyan ng pansin pero mahirap.

Gusto ko ng kalimutan ang nangyari pero hanggang ngayon, masakit at naaapektuhan pa rin ako. I may act calm and uncaring, but the truth is, their presence is enough to remind me and drown me with the hellish memories and trauma they caused.

Being with Perri during my college years is one thing, but seeing all three of them is too much to bear. I'm not sure if I'm just overreacting and being too dramatic, but... it's still painful.

What happened to me wasn't given justice. No one, not even my mom, tried hearing me out. No one listened to my side. No one was interested with the truth. It was me versus three conniving liars.

And that's why until now, it's still hard for me. Because I know deep down that I was just a victim. I am innocent. I was oppressed and maltreated... yet also the one that received all the hate.

Ako ang nasaktan ngunit ako rin ang pinalabas na masama.

It's been years since the incident happened yet I'm still stuck. I just hope that I'd be able to get pass through it. Gusto ko nang kalimutan ang mga nangyari dahil nakakapagod na. Pagod na akong masaktan at pagod na sa pagpapanggap na okay lang ang lahat.

"You don't like the party?" Milena's voice cut my thoughts off.

We were at the rooftop bar for the after party and I was sulking at one of the tables at the corner. Jarvis was here but I told him that I needed some fresh air and some time alone.

I faced the pouting Milena who had two glasses of wine. I shook my head when she offered one. The whole place smelled like booze and cigarettes. It's suffocating, to be honest, and I'm actually planning to leave any time now.

"Congratulations on your successful show," I congratulated. "Party's fine, just not my type."

"Oh!" she pouted. "I shouldn't have pressured you into going. I'm sorry."

I smiled and waved my hand dismissively. There's nothing she should be sorry about. It was my choice to be here and she didn't force me to.

"I can ask someone to drive you home if you want," she offered.

I shook my head, "Thank you for that but I'm actually with someone."

And as if on cue, Jarvis appeared on my side, snaking his arm on my waist. I heard Milena "oohh" and has this surprise yet amused look on her face.

"Daaamn, Salvatorre." She smirked. "You've got taste in women."

She then laughed and teased us afterwards. Kung walang tumawag sa kaniya, hindi pa yata titigil.

Since nakapag-paalam naman kami kay Milena, napagdesisyunan na lang naming umalis. Pero bago 'yon, nag-cr muna ako dahil call of nature. And unfortunately, miss thickface was there as well. And miss thickface being herself, she interrogated me about my relationship with Jarvis.

I noticed that she seems to be the chismosa type and she'll really ask questions just to feed her curiosity no matter how uncomfortable it will make me feel. I dodged all her questions with one-word answers.

When I started getting annoyed with her prying, I stopped answering her and only stared at her and waited how long it will take her to realize that I'm not interested with our conversation.

Finally, miss thickface let me go. I guess, she, too, got annoyed with my blank stares. Nang makalabas ng banyo, dali-dali akong naglakad kung nasaan si Jarvis ngunit kung minamalas ka nga naman, sa dinami-rami ng pwedeng makabungguan, ang manlolokong si Trayvon pa talaga.