Letters to My Heartbreaker

32

Hearing him say that we did meet before both surprised and confused me. If we met before, then why can't I remember him? Did our memories together got lost because of the accident? Or he didn't play a significant role in my life that's why I easily forgot about him?

I looked at him with newfound interest. I wanted to ask him how we met, or even just anything that could help me get to know my "forgotten self". But then, I'm not sure where I stand in his life.

Who knows, baka magkaaway pala. Edi, nakakahiya iyon!

"Is there something you want to say miss?" he asked, breaking my chain of thoughts.

"Ha? Uh wala! I mean... nothing!" I scratched my head then bade him good bye. Dali-dali akong umalis doon at dumiretsong umuwi.

I slept that night with a troubled mind. There was something in his presence that bothered me. I overthought about him that I ended up dreaming about him.

The next morning, I did another painting. Everything in my dream felt so real; the sophisticated place where I was in which was decorated with red and white Christmas decorations; the garlands; the lights; and the tall Christmas tree that stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling, glass window.

I sat in front of the tree, carrying a puppy with a black ribbon tied on its neck, and a guy was beside me.

I dreamt about the same dream last time as well. But this time, something changed.

Last time, the guy beside me was faceless. But in my dream last night, he had a face; the face of the guy I met yesterday. And what bugged me the most is that the dream felt right... and complete, now that the guy I was with wasn't faceless anymore.

When I first dreamt about it, I wanted to paint such scene but I couldn't do so since the guy had no face. I ended up painting the puppy with the black ribbon instead.

At dahil may itsura na ang lalaki sa panaginip, maayos kong nagawa ang painting. I held the canvas in front of me and couldn't help but feel satisfied with my work. It was by far the most detailed and laborious painting I ever did.

Pumasok si ate sa kwarto dala ang isang tray na may meryenda. Tuwing hindi ako lumalabas ng kwarto, alam na niya na may napanaginipan na naman ako at pinipintura ko iyon.

She would bring me food to my room and listen to me as I narrate the dream I had. She would always compliment my work every time she sees it, her reactions are always the same but I could tell that they're genuine ones.

Yet this time, the enthralled and proud look didn't come. Instead of hearing her usual compliments, it was the sound of the shattering glassware that I heard when she lost hold of the tray.

She gaped and pointed at my painting as if it was something so bizarre. Kinuha niya ang canvas at hindi-makapaniwalang tinitigan iyon.

"H-how... I mean... y-you remember him?" nag-aalinlangan niyang tanong.

"What do you mean?" tanong ko pabalik. I was already confused with the guy in question and my sister's reaction didn't help. Mas lalo lang akong nalito at nagulat kung bakit ganito ang reaksiyon niya.

According to the guy yesterday, we met each other before. And basing on my sister's reaction, there's a big possibility that she knows him as well. Or maybe... he played a big role in my life and the "someone" my sister and I always talk about is... him...

"Can you tell me about him?"

"If you want to know about him, then you should ask him yourself," she mumbled, gathering the scattered fragments of the glassware.