Color Of Surrender (High Class Issue Series #3)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Growth

"What do you want to talk about?" Tavi asked and sat on the bench to face me, I smiled because of his disheveled hair as if after he got our of the camp, he hurriedly changed his clothes just to come all over here.

I sighed and leaned my back at the backrest of the wheelchair, "How's your day, My Tavi?" I called him the reason why it made him chuckled, his dimples glimpsed because of the way he smiled.

"Why are you asking this all of a sudden?" he brushed his disheveled hair using his hair and after that he caressed my hair because of the wind carrying it.

"Wala, hindi naman kasi ako maka-labas dito sa ospital kaya hindi naman kita makita." naka-nguso kong sabi sa kanya, inipit niya ang aking buhok sa tenga ko para hindi ito makabahala sa akin.

Ako lang ba yung kontento na ganito lang ang usapan namin? Basta kasama ko siya ay pakiramdam ko ay kontento na ako, kahit nga usap lang ang ginagawa namin ay pakiramdam ko ay isa ito sa magagang alaalang babaunin ko.

"Dumadalaw naman ako, ha." I shook my head as if I'm not convinced on what he said, the reason why I also want to get out of the hospital already is because I want to spend my time with him before going to New York.

"I want to get out of this hospital already, hindi ko kakayanin yung lungkot dito... masyadong tahimik." ang sabi ko at tumingala sa madilim na kalangitan saglit.

"Madaldal ka kasi, gusto mo may lagi kang ka-chika." pang-aasar sa akin ni Tavi na dahilan para mahina akong matawa at hinampas ang kamay niya. Madaldal na ba akong tao?

"Shut up, alam mo namang sa'yo lang ako nag-sasabi tapos sasabihan mo lang ako ng maingay."

"I'm just kidding, tell me what's bothering your mind, baby." nag-palumbaba ito sa kanyang hita habang malalim na naka-tingin sa akin na dahilan para mapa-lunok ako, bihira lang ang mga taong nakikinig sa akin dahil panay naman tungkol sa buhay ko ang kwinikwento ko.

Isn't cute that someone is listening to all your rants and your problems?

Suminghap ako at nilabanan rin ang tingin ni Tavi, "N-Natatandaan mo bang sinabi mo sa akin na sabay nating abutin yung mga pangarap natin, seryoso ka ba doon?" tanong ko sa kanya na dahilan para kumunot ang noo niya.

Komportable na ako sa kanya na dahilan para mag-iba nanaman ang isipan ko, nag-aalangan nanaman akong umalis dahil sa lalaking nasa harapan ko na unit-unti ko ng tinatanggap.

"Yeah, I want to reach my dreams with you." he said straightly the reason why I sighed again as if this conversation is going deeper until the topic will be on my departure.

"Hey, I just want to tell that even though we are not in a relationship, I'm happy that you're giving a lot of effort for me... you made me feel special, Tavi." I'm being transparent to him because I want to be true to myself on how much he means to me.

He became one of greatest escape on this world that is full of shitty and cruel people, he's my safe place when people are throwing words at me and he's the person who accepted just the way I am.

He kept me without chains and he kept me even though we are not yet in a relationship.

"I know you have your own plans and priorities, you said that you want to reach your dreams with me... but what if I need to go just to pursue my dreams?" I asked and all of sudden his breathing became heavy, his eyes became sharp and I'm trying to gain my composure.

Here we go, Avon.

"What do you mean?" he asked with this deep tone that made me stunned for a second, I felt compassion when he begged not to leave him because he doesn't want to be alone but I also want to grab the opportunity given to me in New York.