Fem Characters x Male reader and stuff

I just need to vent

I feel like shit all the time, I'm on the cusp of adulthood and I can't enjoy myself.
All I think about is the longing for a normal life and this loneliness isn't just romantic in nature
I miss my friends there all at home.
The girl I went on my first ever date with weeks ago doesn't really talk to me anymore
And on top of that I don't know what i want to do when school ends!
School is hard enough already why then drop thousands of dollars on a harder school! On top of being an adult!
I always feel like I'm missing out.
Never went to dances, never shown a girl a good time, I can't drive.
The closest adult experience I ever had was holding a job for the summer.
Life scares me and I can't find any other goals than this fantasy I distract myself with
I have a home and a wife to share it with.
Life just hurts.
The only thing that ever motivates me even at little to get up in the morning is hope.
This painful hope that one day I'll get with her or move on to someone else.
I wish I knew what I wanted to do I'm always being told that I'm so smart! I have such potential in academics
When I only seem to be good at enjoying and remembering history and science and enjoying English!
When I suck at math and for the past four years I've only been passing Math classes and Telecommunications class by the skin of my teeth.
I always study so hard only to still either fail a hard test or barely pass it!
I just wish that if there is potential or handsomeness or any of the other shit that people that care about me tell me that I either knew it was true or I just didn't see it.
I wish there was certainty or destiny or some plan of life that gave me ease as much as I believe in free will of humanity a plan that I knew about or followed would be nice.
I don't wanna feel like this anymore! I'm always told this is your best year!
I just wish I felt happy on my own, I didn't seek out girls I like!
Like I had the mind of a eight year old or something so just didn't focus on girls.
But the thoughts of never finding love just make me wanna cry and sleep and give me head aches sensory overload and cloud my mind