Fem Characters x Male reader and stuff

A personal essay of sorts

The Limerence and Romantic endeavors of the Author Liam Locke

Loneliness and low self esteem

I never really had emotional issues until I discovered girls and my Parents divorced at the same time.

Even before divorcing my parents fought all the time it felt like. But they love me and always encourage me and give direction they love eachother too but don't get along

I had always been this dorky socially awkward kid and there were experiences I had that scared me. I was never molested or SA'd I nearly got shot when I was in 6th grade and that really scared me.

So I never really had friends outside of school which made summers both fun and detrimentally sad.

I always used fantasy as a substitute of exploring I always loved movies and stories that take me places.
(I regret this heavily cause now I'm 18 and I feel like I've wasted my life)

When I discovered girls though I've always been a mess (luckily I'm dating my LO so I'm a little better) I just have a hard time staying in the past with regret.

I remember the first girl I really liked. I was in 5th grade and we spent a lot of time together on the playground but nothing never came of it because I didn't know what these emotions were. The only thing I could think of the way I felt was love stories I'd seen in movies and stories that weren't my parents relationship.
For some reason I specifically remember thinking a lot about Indiana Jones and Marion Ravenwood and Han Solo and Leia

In middle school this all got a whole lot worse.
Many girls I really liked.

In 6th grade I really liked the popular girl Adriana.
The day I decided to make my move was of course Valentine's Day. I made her a card and saved all the candy teachers were handing out.

I gave her the card and she just looked at me disturbed and uncomfortable and she handed it back to me.

I ripped the card in half in history class and threw it away.

I never told my parents about it.

7th grade  was a little bit better.

This time the girl I really liked was this girl I worked with (librarian assistant)   Named Kaitlyn.
Nothing ever came of it cause she moved and she was a Morman who wasn't allowed to date (I dunno if that's the rule it's just what she told me)

Now the other librarian assistant I liked was Madison she actually told me she liked me. She actually kissed me on the cheek. But I was to scared to actually go forward so it was more like a I like you you like me we both know it but one party isn't ready.

8th grade:

Oh boy it gets spicy here and actually really heart warming towards the end.

So 8th grade for most of it was this girl named Laura. She was a very interesting girl. Honestly though thinking about it now she might have been addicted to drugs or actually selfed harmed. Laura was always nice to me. She always found me cute cause I was so innocent (I was a dork ok I never cussed until the second half of 8th year) but the date I go to ask how she felt she gets asked out big this big asshole named Drew and she says yes I was crushed.

It really upset me cause on fridays I used to buy her coffee on Friday every Friday cause I had leftover money I saved.

Next was Stacy. Stacy she was like Emo and Goth some how. Honestly she was very nice she had a cute haircut but most guys who liked her liked her cause she was well endowed in the breast department.
She used to tease me all the time we sat next to eachother on the bus and that's the only time we saw eachother. She used to grab my butt every time I stood up in preparation to get off at my stop. We never really saw eachother again when I moved houses so I didn't have to take the bus.
Also I think he goes by Alex now and transitioned so I probably should have said he So my apologies if this is offending or incorrect it's just in my memory Alex was Stacy.