2. Are you still mine? (Tokio Hotel/Tom Kaulitz Fanfiction)

Chapter Six. No prisoners.

This is a little short I think, but it's kinda important for the story.

Hope you like it, thanks for reading and voting!

Y muchas gracias por sus comentarios! - Thank you very much for your comments! ;)

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The day after the funeral I felt completely drained from energy, Tom tried to get me out of bed by offering me a hand but I preferred to ask for something different.

“Could you take Lily out?” I asked him silently, my voice was hoarse. He was standing in front of me while I rested my cheek on the pillow with the covers up to my waist, the ring on my finger still gave that shinny reflexion when I put my hand over the pillow. “I think I need to be alone for a few hours, if that’s alright.”

Tom sat on the edge of the bed next to me, placing his hand behind me for support as I he leaned down and kissed my cheek softly, something he had been doing so much lately. He took my hand in his and gave it a light squeeze.

“We’ll be back for lunch, be ready by then, okay?” I mumbled a “yeah.” And he stepped out. I struggled with myself for a few minutes while I tried to move my body into a sitting position.

It was amazing how even without being sick my body acted as if it was. I’d heard of people rejecting an organ after a transplant, and as I turned my phone on I realised my body was rejecting the loss. The worst part was that I no longer cried. After waking up in the middle of the night from another nightmare, I couldn’t cry anymore, it hurt and it was scary but no tears appeared in my eyes…

I went through my phone, trying to find myself something to do, I went through my pictures and smiled to myself when I got to the beautiful face of Jazmin on that one selfie I had taken when they visited almost two years before, a younger and smaller Lily appeared in the picture too. Bill and Tom and me. Jazmin had loved the sunset, and I had taken that picture for her to see it when she was older and remember those little moments we had been able to share through our distant lives.

Jazmin would never look at this picture with reminiscent feelings. It would be only a friendly reminder for Lily, that she had another sister once.

I had a number of pictures with my family. The typical photo that dad took without a clue of where the front camera was at, the pictures Jazmin had taken of herself and Georg after the wedding got cancelled, the pictures of Ulrike and the girls feeding the animals at the zoo. Dad and me at a café in New York. Lily and Jazz colouring in the living room of my old apartment. Jazz and me sending a kiss to the camera while dad took the picture. All four of us, dad’s girls in one picture. More pictures from Christmas and New Year… I turned my phone off and thought of the words my dad had told us when Bill came into the room.

“Happy and smart.” I forced myself to get up and looked around the room hitting my cheeks lightly in an attempt to feel like I was awake; I needed to bring myself over this so I went to the bathroom and threw cold water on my face, I had no idea of what to do with myself so I went on doing anything.

I dragged my feet back to my room and got out of my pyjamas; something begged me not to wear the black clothes because the colour made me feel even more miserable, but in my heart I just wanted to heal, so I decided that even if I didn’t want to be so sad anymore I would grieve now the right way so I wouldn’t feel so bad in the future like I’d done with my brother… I threw a sweater on top of my long sleeved shirt and jeans before I walked downstairs.

The kitchen was – along with every room of the house – quiet.  The coffee machine was on and the coffee remained hot, I prepared myself a cup and ate some cookies like the ones Lily always missed when we were in the US. I sat at the large dining room and stared at the empty room. Last New Year, it had been a mess, Jazmin and Lily had taken on singing and they were all about putting up a show and singing and dancing in there, jumping around and being kids while dad and Ulrike clapped excitedly, me tagging along to their little band. Now there was nothing of that and the ringing in my ears became so unbearable I had to call Bill, I knew he was with his brother and Lily.