Begun
Naubos lahat ng hangin sa katawan ko sa ginawa ni Worth. Hindi ako makagalaw. Nawalan na ako ng ideya sa tumatakbong oras namin o sa mga sundalo. Unti-unti siyang lumayo sakin.
His kiss was just peck but it lingered for few seconds on my lips before pulling back.
I want it again.
What he did woke me up from everything we can't have. From the things I keep on burrying between us. Ang mga bagay na pilit ko binubura sa isipan ko. Parang gatilyo ang halik niya sakin.
Hindi ko na napigilan at humagulgol sa harapan niya. Nanlaki ang mata niya sa biglang pag-iyak ko. Panic and confusion crossed his face. He pulled me against his hard chest.
It's hard to wear a straight face infront of him. All I want is to be healed from this sickness and love him freely. Ganun ba talaga kahirap iyon?
"Tell me.. what did I do to this world, Worth? B-Bakit ganito ako?" I sobbed on his chest. I didn't count the seconds.
Kinuyom ko ang kwelyo ng uniporme niya. "Hindi ba ako pwedeng mamuhay din ng normal? I wanted that too.." Suminghap ako. My mind's completely loss. "Napapagod na akong tingnan si nanay sa araw-araw. All her sacrifices for me will be n-nothing if I would die. I don't want to d-die, Worth.. I barely even l-lived yet.."
"There's still so many things I want to do... down there, with you."
Humigpit pa lalo ang yakap niya sakin. I can feel my bones started shaking again.
Love is powerful. Among all other emotions. It's overwhelming that no words could come up with it's true meaning.
Tinutupok ako nito ngayon.
Huminga ako ng malalim at humugot ng lakas.
"I-If I still have next days after this, Worth.. kung hindi ko susubukan ngayon at m-mananatili ako sa ganitong sitwasyon. Kung m-may galit pa rin sakin ang mundo pagkatapos ng lahat ng ito. I.. I want you to leave me.."
Narinig ko ang pagsinghap niya sa sinabi ko. Tuluyan niya nang kinalas mula sa likod niya ang baril niyang nakasabit. It fell to the wooden floor.
Kinalas ko ang mga kamay niya mula sakin. "Just leave me, okay? I-I don't--" Hindi ko magawang sabihin sa kanya ang mga kataga. I sniffed and held his face. "I-I don't want you to continue loving me,"
He tried to look away, bewildered by what I started saying. "you deserve someone w-who can hug and k-kiss you for a long time.. someone who can love you w-without holding anything back, without borders and time limits. Someone you can embrace when you get back from a battle and it would feel like home.."
Yumuko siya at umiling-iling sa biglang sinasabi ko. Hinarap niya ako.
"B-But your arms.. feels like home any house I have ever did.." he muttered between his heavy breaths. It almost feel like he's whispering to himself.
"No, it doesn't. Y-You deserve to be free f-from me. Ihahatak lang kita pabalik, k-kagaya ng paghatak ko sa nanay ko.. I know there's so much you still want to be. More than a soldier, or a sergeat. You are fit to be like your father, baby.."
I don't know how this night will end. Pero may isang bagay ang mananatili sakin na kahit sino man ay walang makakapagbago.. Ang pangalan ko sa mundong 'to. Ang nagdala ng sakit, ang lahat ng diniin sakin.
For all the years that I was just here and I have no idea.. that is something that was already unchangeable.
"I thought come what may, Bellemy?" His eyes were on the floor. Pagod, sakit at pagkalito ang nasa mga mata niya.
YOU ARE READING
See You Soon, Soldier (Ambience Series #1)
Science Fiction(Completed) Bellemy Rose is a walking disease. For a long time, she was held captive by her sickness in isolation. She has no friends, no family, no cure, no doctors to help her, no one--except for her mother. Sent away as a child, she was forced to...
