What If...I Remember?

Chapter 6

Whispers.

Softly spoken words, meant to be unintelligible...

Or were they actually meant to be understood?

Ye Hua...

Why would she call for him?

Because she loved him.

Did she really? Why didn't she know, then?

Because she wanted to forget it all...

"Xiao Wu, are you going to continue feigning a nap, or are you going to wake up? I'm not blind, you know, I can see your eyes are open."

"Si Ge." Bai Qian mentally cursed her brother for being that observant, but before she could sit up, a small, unidentified ball flung itself onto her, knocking all the air from her lungs, and Bai Qian struggled to get up again, only to realise that A-Li was hugging her tightly, "Mother! Are you okay?"

"A-Li...you need to get off Mother first..." Bai Qian wheezed, petting the little Prince on his back, and A-Li looked at her tearfully, "Did A-Li hurt Mother?" "No, no, of course not, my Little Riceball..." Bai Qian lied, though secretly wondering how much blood she could've coughed up if A-Li was more than a 300 year old deity, and even as she reached for a cup of tea by the bedside, she caught a sight of the Crown Prince.

"Xiao Jiu-!" Her words were barely out of her mouth when her head felt like it was split into two, and a mouthful of blood sprayed from her mouth as she let go of A-Li, who quickly scrambled off her, and her hair sagged by her face even as she held her head, trying to supress the intense pain, and she let out a scream when the Crown Prince came before her and cupped her cheek gently in his hands.

"Phoenix!" Bai Qian vaguely heard Bai Zhen shouting for Zhe Yan. All around her sounded like her head had been submerged in water, her vision blurred and the air sucked out from her lungs. Her lips were numb and clumsy, and unable to form any words at all. She felt cold...freezing cold, as though she had been dumped in the icy waters of the North Sea. 

"Xiao Wu? Xiao Wu, can you hear me?" Zhe Yan shook her firmly, but her head lolled to the side, and once again, Bai Qian fell into unconsciousness.

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"High God Zhe Yan, what is wrong with Qian Qian?"

Zhe Yan tilted his head slightly, an amused smile on his face. Qian Qian? He mused. Since when had they gotten this close? Though if Bai Qian woke up and called him "Hua Hua", that would most certainly be too much for Zhe Yan's old feathers to bear, and as much as possible, he'd definitely like to stop them from moulting off his phoenix self.

"There is a connection between her headaches and some things about Xiao Wu that I cannot tell you, Crown Prince. Some things that if I said, it would betray the whole of Qing Qiu." Zhe Yan said slowly, enjoying the look of anxiety on the young man's face, and Bai Zhen, who rarely was serious, nodded along as well, "We would rather all cut our tails off than reveal this secret to anyone."

"But...?" Ye Hua was begging; that they all knew. Surely, there would be some way they could tell him, right? "But...if it's the future husband of Xiao Wu that's asking..." Bai Zhen began slyly, and Ye Hua didn't hesitate, "High God Bai Zhen, I will only ever take Bai Qian as wife, and no one else." "Ah, pledging loyalty. One stubborn dragon, I see..." Bai Zhen commented approvingly, before he waved a hand, setting up a privacy barrier, "Come along in, then."

"Do you remember, many years ago, after Qing Cang was sealed again, we said Bai Qian had been injured and had thus fallen into a coma to rest?" Bai Zhen gestured for Ye Hua to sit, and once they sat, Ye Hua replied, "Yes. But why-" "Not so hasty. So, what we relayed was a lie. We didn't know where she went after sealing Qing Cang, until 300 years ago, where she appeared dishevelled and wounded in the woods of Zhe Yan's peach blossom trees." Bai Zhen paused, letting Zhe Yan take over, seeing as how the Old Phoenix had more details, and Zhe Yan smiled and frowned simultaneously, something quite common for him to do.

"She came to me, full of wounds and a heartless expression, and asked me for wine. I thought it funny, at first. Why, she came back after so long, and the first thing she asked for is wine! I said yes, on the condition that she had to tell me what happened. And so she said that it had been a mere love trial. I glanced at her wounds, and her near irreparable eyes, and decided not to ask more. But, she asked me for a medicine of mine. One that can make you forget things at will. Crown Prince, is it me, or was it also that so coincidentally on that day, your mortal lover Su Su, who looks much like Xiao Wu, jumped off from Zhu Xian Terrace?"

"So she is Su Su! I knew it! The scar on her wrist-" It was Ye Hua's turn to explain, "Due to an accident with the Ghost Lord's Fire QiLin, Su Su has a burn on her wrist from the red lotus hellfire. Scars from the hellfire can never be removed, so that's how I suspected it was her. Besides, no one else ever looked or sounded this similar to Su Su..." Ye Hua trailed off, but it was evident now, to the three present in the hut. Bai Qian was Su Su.

"So...now we know, should we return back to the topic of her headaches?" Zhe Yan cleared his throat, and Ye Hua blinked. Oh, right. The headaches. "Her memories are fighting to return. When you asked her about the scar, she couldn't answer you, because she was meant to forget everything about Su Su, but yet she was asked directly, and her mind forced her to remember. That one memory pushed against the boundary of my medicine, and as a result, Xiao Wu will keep having concussions each time she sees something related to Su Su if we don't resolve the medicine's barrier."

"But, and this is what I have told Zhe Yan before," Bai Zhen finally cut in, "She made the decision back then to forget everything. Xiao Wu's personality traits are mainly her being strong and stubborn, and if it was enough to make her want the amnesia potion, evidently it must have hurt her a lot. Besides, if she were to regain her memories, the Heavens would be in an uproar, I'm certain."

"But what can we do, other than freeing her memories?" Ye Hua surprised himself by still remaining calm, and Zhe Yan gave a small smile, "Crown Prince, if I told you there was a beautiful idea that works for everyone, would you believe me?" "It depends." Ye Hua didn't like the glint in the older God's eyes, and Zhe Yan grinned slyly, "Tell me, young man, how much would you like her to remember?"

"...only the good memories that we share." Ye Hua admitted, and Zhe Yan snapped his fingers at Ye Hua's words, "That's it. So...the thing is...we can do memory alteration."

"But that will consist of a lot more lying to Xiao Wu, and you do know that she hates being lied to..." Bai Zhen interrupted, and Zhe Yan paused at his words. Bai Zhen's words were indeed true of Bai Qian. Frowning, Zhe Yan settled into silence, and no one spoke for quite a while, all just staring at his woods in deep thoughts.

"We can give her the full truth, then." Ye Hua finally broke the silence, and Zhe Yan glanced at him, waiting for the Crown Prince to continue. "Since High God Zhe Yan can do memory alteration, why not we just compile everyone's memories and collate it for Qian Qian?" Ye Hua suggested, and although Bai Zhen nodded approvingly, Zhe Yan frowned.

"Apologies. I can do memory alteration, but I cannot do advanced levels of memory extraction. Meaning to say, I can only do it when one is willing to give me their memories. So...unless you could make Princess Su Jin and everyone else related do the same, this plan would hardly be feasible..." Zhe Yan rarely looked this defeated, and Ye Hua sank into his chair. 

"But," Zhe Yan considerably brightened up, "I do know a person who can do all these." Glancing at Ye Hua, Zhe Yan offered him an encouraging smile, "It's up to you, Crown Prince, if you can save Xiao Wu." At that, Ye Hua felt nothing but ambiguity. What was High God Zhe Yan playing at?

"The person we need help from...is Dong Hua Di Jun."

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