What If...I Remember?

Chapter 70

It was nighttime by the time Bai Qian awoke again, and it was because there was something gurgling by her ear. "Hello there, little one." Bai Qian tried her best to not sound tired, but even as she propped herself up on one elbow to take a closer look at her newborn, a single flame flicked onto a nearby candle, and Bai Qian lifted her head, only to realise that Ye Hua was seated by the side of her bed. "Awake now?" Ye Hua smiled warmly at her, his gaze full of adoration and love, and Bai Qian sighed, knowing that it would be impossible to go back to sleep then.

"She started babbling. Why isn't she sleeping?" Bai Qian glanced at the newborn again, and a sudden helplessness overwhelmed her. She had never raised an infant child before; as far as she was concerned, Feng Jiu had been handed to her after a decent age, and she had abandoned A-Li right after he had been born. "She could be hungry. Or it could just be that she's had enough sleep." Ye Hua answered, reaching gently to pick up the bundle of blankets that contained their child, "Qian Qian, you have yet to name her."

"Name? You have not named her?" Bai Qian was rather surprised that Ye Hua had left the naming to her. After all, A-Li was a terrible name, and Bai Chen only meant for white dragon. She had no talent with names, and she would admit it, of course. "I thought I would wait to hear what name you would give." Ye Hua smiled, but his gaze still contained a sliver of amusement, and Bai Qian huffed as she reached out to take her daughter from his arms, "You jest, Ye Hua."

"Surely a name isn't that hard. I'm not asking you to form a piece of poetry right now." Ye Hua grinned at his wife, and Bai Qian gave him a resisted eyeroll, before she knitted her brows in deep thought. "Bai...Jing?" Bai Qian tested the name hesitantly, and as she had expected, Ye Hua's face darkened at once. "Because of Li Jing?" Ye Hua's tone dropped at once, and Bai Qian wondered what she was hearing in his voice. Anger? Sadness? Frustration? Or...regret? It couldn't be, could it?

"It's not the same Jing, Ye Hua." Bai Qian attempted to explain her thoughts, and to her relief, Ye Hua's expression cleared briefly, "Oh?" "It's another one. It's the Jing that describes a girl as slender and slim, as well as saying that she is talented and capable. But..." Bai Qian lowered her gaze, "I did pick it because it sounds exactly the same as Li Jing's Jing." "Is it because you can't get over the fact that he was once your lover?" Ye Hua gritted, although knowing he was being irrational, and Bai Qian's eyes widened, before her eyebrows furrowed, "Ye Hua, what are you thinking? Li Jing saved all our lives at Ruo Shui. Would it not be meaningful for our daughter to be named Bai Jing?"

The room that had once been quiet was now filled with Bai Qian's confusion of her husband's attitude, as well as Ye Hua's unspoken jealousy. He never imagined that she would still spare Li Jing a thought even after the matter of his burial had been settled, and even as he thought on, Ye Hua's eyes flashed in a sudden realisation, "Qian Qian, you had him buried in the place where you two met in secret, didn't you?" "What?" Bai Qian froze, taken by surprise, and Ye Hua saw her eyes contain a flicker of remorse, before it was gone. "Yes. Yes, I did." "Why?" Ye Hua wanted to yell, but all that came out was a forced whisper, and Bai Qian was about to answer him when the newborn baby began to bawl at full volume.

"Hush, it's alright, it's alright..." Bai Qian instantly lifted her child into her arms, bouncing the child slightly as she kissed her baby girl on the forehead, and after the newborn settled down, Bai Qian lifted her gaze back to Ye Hua, "Because, along with his body, I buried whatever I once felt towards him. Be it liking or hatred, I shoveled everything into the grave. I didn't want them anymore. I only wanted to be with you properly. That's why you needn't think too much about Bai Jing sounding like I named her after Li Jing. Because it isn't even the same Jing. I purely thought that Bai Jing was a great name. If you don't like it, we can name her Bai Ling. The Ling for describing a girl as smart and clever."