Honest Goodbye [COMPLETED] #Wattys2020

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I went to the closet of my condo and wore the tuxedo Bret bought for me, well, he bought each best man a tuxedo. I wore my Rolex GMT-Master 2, it suits the outfit Bret readied for me.

Dior Savauge, my all time favorite perfume. I sprayed it from the front to the back of my tuxedo. I've been loyal to this little treasure of mine, or should I say, it's been loyal to me. It's my bestfriend since then.

The mirror in front of me is showing me a man of composure, but that man is feeling the opposite inside, I said to myself looking at the mirror, "Are you really even ready?"

The sun's shining—unclouded outside, that even my grey curtains can't really catch all the rays that sun is throwing at me.

I left my condo closed and went to the elevator. I saw the parking lot symbol on the wall, and clicked it.

I'm heading to Bret and Pola's wedding, he just sent me the address of the church where the wedding will be held.

Sunbeam are really hurting my eyes, though my car is tinted, I really can feel the rays hurting my eyes, it's three in the afternoon, and that's already an enough reason. If you're asking if I hate sun, well, I don't have heliophobia, or I was born vampire, no, I don't just really like the itchy feeling when its rays strikes my skin, or even my eyes.

I've been away for two years, San Diego had have me away from my home. It was not really nice being there, it gave me peace, somehow—I'd never thought San Diego would be a part of me, at first, I was hesitant, but I had no choice. Everything would be in hell if I chose to stay here.

Though I hurt a girl who loved me most, it wasn't my intention. I am also a victim.

If only I can explain to her what happened to me two years ago, I will.

Wake me up when september ends, the radio knows what to play, it played the right music at the wrong time, I don't know if it's a wrong time, or the song is just playing up inside me that I am feeling so heavy right now.

If only I hadn't have to choose, maybe we're already married by this time. If only I was brave enough to lose everything but not her, maybe we're still together laughit at each other's clumsiness. If only I could turn back the time, I'd still be with her.

I hope Mat could take care of her and fill all my shortcomings.

I saw how difficult it was for her but she haven't seen me struggle because of the choice that I chose.

I bought a new pack of cigarettes and put them in my cigarette case, it is the only thing that makes me relieve my stress.

When I finally arrived at the Church, the groom-to-be and also the bride-to-be, are nowhere to be found, some said they're still preparing for the wedding.

I looked at people who are in groups, looking for someone to be with.

"Max!" I heard someone yelled my name, I looked around, "MOLINA!"

I felt someone jump from my back, "Tangina mo talaga, Molina, sa bola lang matinik mata mo," Jet said. I saw my old friends laughing and walking towards me, they all are wearing the same outfit the I'm wearing. "How are you, bro?" asked Jet.

Kumalas ako sa pagkakayap niya sa likod ko at tumayo na ng maayos, "Heto, just got here after a long years" I said and they suddenly hugged me, I could barely breathe because they're suffocating me by their hugs.

"Tangina niyo, I cannot breathe," they stood up properly and just laughed. Umakbay naman ang dalawa sa akin, Jet and Troy.

They went inside the church and sat on our designated chairs. Sumunod lang ako sa kanilang dalawa. These fuckers don't seem to be in a wedding, they're so loud and keep on laughing and making fun of everyone, "Pangit naman niyan pre, hipon," we laughed when Troy said that as soon as a girl walks in front of us. "Pa-pangit naman." he continued. We just kept having fun and it seems they haven't changed at all.

"But this one is pretty" siniko ako ni Troy na ngayon ay katabi ko, "Bro, this one is pretty" he repeated. Siniko rin ako ni Jet na nasa kanan ko.

I looked at the direction where they're gazing, I looked back, and I saw her walks in the church's door, "Tangina, she hasn't changed, bro" I heard Sean said. "But who is that guy?"

There's whamming, I can hear it from my heart. Shit.

Mat is with her, they're holding hands.

I don't understand why I'm feeling like this, I made him do it, I told him to take care of her. But knowing that it's not my hand she's now holding, I'm feeling a crack inside me—it's a torment.

"Bro, is he her boyfriend?" I can see from my peripheral view that Jet looked at me. "Oh, shit."

I saw her looked at me but it's not the same anymore. Her eyes are not saying the same thing anymore, those eyes should be screaming I love yous, where are they?

I just looked at the aisle and trying to calm myself down, but I'm really curious what they are doing on my back, so I turned around, and I only saw strangers talking to each other, "Where are they?" words suddenly came out from my mouth.

"Who?" Jet asked while doing something in his phone.

I didn't bother to reply, I just sat and stared at the aisle in front of us.

There are call of cigarettes, my lungs are screaming and they've been wanting to be fed.

I stood up and took my cigarettes' case from my pants pocket. As soon as I got out from the church, I lit up a cigarette and felt calm.

I'm smoking and looking for a place to smoke at, I should know my place. I saw that at the back of this old church there is a big space where no one dares to walk to, I think.

Ashes from the cigarette are keeps on falling on the soil that I'm walking on.

Until I reached the end of the church, I turned left to finally have a place to smoke at.

Walls are full of molds.

I walked in.

And now I wish I hadn't, "Tangina" the cigarette slipped from my mouth.

I shouldn't have just went out from church.

"Uhm" she groaned and continue kissing Mat. She is holding the back of his head and her eyes are closed.

"This is hella disgusting" my mouth did its job, and yes, they stopped licking each other's tongue.

"M-Max" she uttered my name.

I walked out and clicked my key fob.