Coming Home?

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*Y/n--5, Sam--10, Dean--14*

You did exactly as you were told by your father before he left on his hunt and as Dean said after you all came home from school. You did all your homework. You ate all your food. You behaved during your bath. You got dressed in your pajamas, brushed your teeth and hair. All without complaining.

Now, you stood by the motel window. You were waiting for John to come back. "Y/n, get to bed. It's your bedtime." Dean stated. "But Daddy hasn't come home yet." You replied as you continued to stare out the window. You heard Dean sigh, but before he said anything you asked, "When will he be home?" Sam answered, "Not for hours, Y/n." You turned back to them. "Can I stay up, please?" You begged and dragged your 'please.'

"Y/n, you can't stay up that late-" "But I did everything you and Daddy said, Dean!" You exclaimed. Dean felt horrible. "I know. I'm very happy and proud you did. Dad just won't be home for a long time." He tried to console you. "Why can't he be home earlier?" Your eyes started watering. Dean picked you up, sat on the bed, and gently rocked you in his arms. "Shh, shh. I'm sorry that he's not back. He's just trying to keep us safe from the monsters." He replied. Your crying got worse. "Here, Dean," Sam said and handed the eldest the stuffed raccoon from the thrift store. "Hey, Shadow is here." He tried giving you the toy. "I want Daddy!" You sobbed.

At that point, Sam and Dean knew there was no real recovery for you. Dean continued to rock the two of you the best he could. Sam offered stories and other distractions that you denied or simply kept weeping. It took a half hour, but you did finally fall asleep and was tucked in bed. "What are you going to tell Dad?" Sam asked. "Nothing I haven't told him before, but I feel bad for her. She wants his approval so much," Dean said. Sam nodded. They both wanted the same thing you wanted. They just knew it was almost never acknowledged.

In the morning, Dean woke as he heard John prepare for another hunting day. "Morning, Dad," he groaned. "How were they last night?" John asked in a whisper from the desk. "Good. Y/n did everything without complaining, but she did...miss you a lot." Dean reported. "She'll understand one day." John replied. "Dad, she-" "Will understand that her old man was trying to do the best for the world and his children. Dean, Y/n will be fine." He stated and tied his boots. "Can you try to come back early tonight? She cried herself to sleep last night. She wanted you." Dean explained. John heavily exhaled. "I'll try my best, Dean. Okay?" Dean nodded, knowing much never came from that line.

By the time 10 p.m. rolled around after having a similar process of the previous night, Dean fell asleep and gave up a little more with John. You sat up in the morning and looked at the other bed and sighed. You laid back down and held tightly on your stuffed raccoon. That was the moment that you lost hope in your father. 

***15 Years Later***

For some odd reason, it felt odd continuing your routine at college. It was like you suddenly got a sixth sense that something was wrong or missing, but there wasn't anything that fit those two criteria. This feeling kept continuing until your psychology class at 2 o'clock when your phone in your pocket kept buzzing and buzzing and buzzing.  You swore it kept vibrating the entire hour and half. When walked out of the building after class, you checked your phone that was filled with notifications, but one of the dozens stood out to you the most. A voicemail from, who you believed to be, your father. At that point, you were grateful that psych was your last class and your roommate wasn't going to be in the dorm for another hour or more. As soon as you closed your dorm door, you pressed the voicemail and held the phone to your ear, desperately hoping it wasn't about a monster as you waited for the message to be heard. 

"Hi, Y/n. I know that we haven't talked for a while." It was Dean and his voices was starting to break as he talked, "I just wanted to tell you that...Dad's gone." That's when your heart unexpectant sunk. You knew the day would come, but you did not think the day would come so soon and with you so far away from your brothers. " He's family, Y/n, he might not have always been there, but he meant well. So, please, call when you get this." Dean said.

You heavily exhaled as if you forgot to breath the entire time you listening to Dean's message. The tears flowed down your cheeks. You sunk down the wall and covered your face as you sobbed. It was as if you felt like you were five-years-old again and just wanted to know when he was coming back to you or if he was ever going to do just that. You  grabbed your suitcase and packed it with a few flannels, jeans, a black dress, and a pair of black heals and hiking (used to be hunting) boots. 

***

You parked with a huff at the motel.  "Motel dirty motel," you sighed as you gazed at the single story building that needed updates. "I can't believe these buildings used to be considered home sweet home after Bobby's house." You spoke to yourself before getting the luggage and then knocked on their door. "There's my baby sister," Dean greeted you with open arms with Sam behind him. "Hi, Dean, Sammy," you gave them both a small smile and walked in the room and sat on one of the beds. "So," you sniffed, "how did it happen...Dad's death?" You listened to their story silently and intently, trying to picture and remember all of the details.

***

You stood in your dress, a flannel to keep warm, and heels as you watched your father's body burn.  You felt Sam pull you close to him. You cried into his side. "It's okay," he whispered. You didn't say anything back, you just stared at the burning body. You stayed standing there when everything was ash. You tried to stop the rushing tears. "Y/n," Sam started. "I-I just want to talk to him...by myself...for a little bit." 

You sat on the ground beside the pile. "I'm sorry, Daddy," you whispered as you wiped away some tears. "I know I should've been there more; I shouldn't have left so soon." You continued and took a deep breathes. "I hope you watch over me, even though I wasn't the daughter you hoped for in life. I wish I could make you proud, but I need to continue the life that I want and that I've started for myself. I'm sorry." You finished and swiped the remaining tears. 

You stood and walked back to your brothers. "Doing okay?" Sam asked. You shrugged and pressed your lips together. "I'll get better, but I can't get better if I continue the path that Dad walked on and wanted me to follow. I have to continue the path I started on my own." You replied. They both agreed with you and hugged you before you walked to your own car. "If you ever-" "I know, call." You gently smiled at your brothers. You then drove off back to your life away from monsters once again. 

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