end of the day | seongjoong

chapter seventy two

seonghwa sat in his room thursday night with his heart racing and his eyes crying as he had been doing for the whole week.

"i'm tired of crying, i'm tired of fucking crying." seonghwa whispered to himself as he pulled at his jet black hair, standing up from his bed and pacing around his room like a mad man.

as it has been for the past week, seonghwa's mind was running absolutely wild. his thoughts were everywhere, all with one specific end goal; to finally get hongjoong back.

after his conversation with his friends earlier that day, seonghwa realized something about himself.

he was truly, madly, deeply in love with kim hongjoong.

seonghwa realized that he loved everything about hongjoong. from the top of his bleach blonde head to the bottom of his tiny little feet, hongjoong was seonghwa's one and only person.

from his endless collection of stuffed animals to his to his obvious obsession with strawberries, from his unique fashion sense to his love for disney movies, from his adorable habit of constantly giggling to his undeniably beautiful features, seonghwa loved everything that made hongjoong, hongjoong.

all the differences that made hongjoong were perfect, and seonghwa was so disappointed in himself for not realizing that until it was way too late.

seonghwa stopped his pacing and made his way out of his room to find his mother. she always had the best advice, and advice was exactly what seonghwa needed at that moment.

after exiting his bedroom, seonghwa heard the living room television on and realized that his mother was in there. he quickly made his was inside the room and found his mother laying on the couch, watching some drama that he didn't know the name of.

"mom, c-can i talk to you?" seonghwa stuttered out, his unstable voice immediately catching the attention of his mother. she paused her show and moved over on the couch, patting the seat next to her for seonghwa to sit down.

as soon as seonghwa took a seat and looked into his mother's eyes, he broke down. he started sobbing uncontrollably, chest rising up and down quicker than he could control. seonghwa's mom pulled him in for a hug, squeezing him tightly in an attempt to calm him down.

"seonghwa honey, what's wrong?" she asked calmly, unsure of why her son was such a mess.

"m-mom, remember last week when i went to the formal? when i said h-hongjoong couldn't go? and then i ended up coming home early?" seonghwa asked after he calmed himself down a bit and his mother nodded her head yes, "well, i lied to you. i lied to you and everyone in my life, including h-hongjoong." seonghwa choked up on hongjoong's name, crying even harder after hearing it said out loud.

"what do you mean you lied to everyone in your life?" she asked him, continuing to hug her balling son. seonghwa took a minute to continue crying before finally getting enough air to speak again.

"w-well, these guys in my grade saw me with hongjoong one day... and to make a long story short, instead of listening to my heart, i let what they said control me. i let their opinions on hongjoong control what i did with the boy i like. and no, before you yell at me, i'm not blaming anything on them. this was one hundred percent my fault. i'm an idiot, mom. a complete i-idiot." seonghwa tried his best to explain the story quickly to his mother, not wanting to explain it to someone out loud for a second time that day. his mother nodded her head and continued rubbing seonghwa's back in a comforting way after he spoke.

"so tell me, what was the lie you told?" sunhee asked again, still confused from not getting a real straight forward answer from her son before.

"instead of taking hongjoong to the formal, i told him i was busy that night. i lied to him and said my aunt was having her fiftieth birthday party. i had every intention of going to the formal, but no intentions of taking hongjoong with me.