chapter sixty four

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even after his talk with san, jongho's mind continued to drive him crazy.

the thoughts i've been having of him... they're not thoughts a friend should have about another friend.

jongho stayed up all night thinking of yeosang; his gorgeous eyes, his precious smile, his beautiful giggle, his perfect complexion. how even though he was mute, yeosang tried his best to talk to jongho by writing down or typing out his thoughts. jongho loved how adorable he looked while playing with his friends, how they were the only people who could bring out yeosang's genuine personality.

his thoughts were completely clouded with yeosang.

yeosang.

yeosang.

yeosang... i like yeosang?

"ugh, i can't take it anymore!" jongho screamed out loud and ran out of his room, quickly making his way to hongjoong's bedroom.

hongjoong jumped at the sudden loud banging on his bedroom door, quickly standing up and walking over to ask who was there.

"jongie, is that you?" hongjoong hesitantly asked after hearing the loud sobs from the other side of the door.

"yes baby, it's me. please let me in." jongho sniffled out, wiping his tears as hongjoong opened the door for him. jongho walked in and laid on hongjoong's bed, his face buried in hongjoong's fluffy pillow.

"why are you crying?" hongjoong quietly asked, speaking low as to not upset his brother any further.

"because..." jongho began speaking, sitting his body up so he could properly talk to hongjoong, "because i like someone, joongie. i like someone a lot, and it's driving me crazy."

hongjoong took a seat next to his brother on his bed and gave him a big hug. he allowed jongho to cry on his shoulder, for once being the caretaker in their relationship. rather than speaking up, hongjoong rubbed his brother's back and let him cry until jongho broke away.

"i just... i just don't know what to do. if i'm being honest, i'm scared." jongho admitted, confusing hongjoong a bit.

"why are you scared? is it because of jinnie? you shouldn't worry about what she has to say, i'm sure this new girl is so much better." hongjoong smiled, trying his best to give jongho positive advice. jongho felt a ping in his heart when he heard hongjoong say 'girl'.

"that's the reason i'm scared, joongie. because she's not a she, she's a... she's a he." jongho cried out loud, unable to control his sobs.

"is that why you're scared? because you like a boy?" hongjoong asked sweetly as he continued to rub jongho's back.

"yes, w-well actually... it's part of the reason. i'm also s-scared because of who i like." jongho stuttered a bit, trying his best to calm his loud cries down.

"well, who is it? if you don't mind me asking." hongjoong hesitantly asked his brother, not wanting to overstep any boundaries.

"i don't mind, the reason i came here was to tell you who it is. i felt like if i didn't tell someone soon i'd go crazy, and you're the best person to talk about this to." jongho took a deep breath, "it's... it's y-yeosang."

"sangie!?" hongjoong screamed out and shot up, jumping up and down in his room. jongho quickly shushed the boy, pulling him back down to the bed. hongjoong giggled and covered his mouth, "sorry, but why are you upset about this? sangie likes you back, i know of it!"

"you got to understand that i've never liked a guy before, so this is all new to me. it's just, it's scary. i know he likes me, i've known that for a while. it's just a new feeling, and it's making me really nervous." jongho admitted, leaning his head down onto hongjoong's shoulder. hongjoong patted his brother's head to comfort him and smiled widely.

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