end of the day | seongjoong

chapter forty one

the guilt was building up in seonghwa's body and he felt like he was about to burst. jongho still didn't about seonghwa's feelings towards his brother, seonghwa not even telling him he stayed for hongjoong's birthday dinner the night prior. he felt horrible for keeping this secret, and he knew the only right thing was to tell jongho about it.

seonghwa hesitantly made his way into the cafeteria, his nerves building with each step. he saw jongho sitting in his usual seat, laughing at something san was talking about. seonghwa gulped, walking up behind the younger and lightly tapping his shoulder.

"oh, hey hwa. are you going to sit?" jongho asked, motioning his arms to seonghwa's usual seat, a bit confused as to why seonghwa didn't just sit down and tapped his shoulder instead.

"um, actually... i need to tell you something in private, if that's ok with you?" seonghwa asked the boy, sounding nervous as he spoke.

"yeah, of course." jongho replied, sounding  concerned as he spoke.

"ok, come with me please." jongho obeyed, standing up and following seonghwa into the boy's bathroom.

when the boy's arrived, they looked around the bathroom to make sure no one else was in there. once they knew the coast was clear, jongho began asking questions.

"so, what do you need to tell me that's so secret that you needed to tell me in the bathroom and not in front of the other guys?" jongho asked with a chuckle.

"well, not that i've been lying to you... but i've been keeping something from you and i think you deserve to know." seonghwa looked down at his feet, unable to look jongho in the eyes.

jongho's heart began racing a bit, nervous for seonghwa to continue on, "well what is it? you're scaring me, park."

"don't be scared, it really doesn't have anything to do with you..." jongho's nerves calmed a bit until he heard seonghwa's next statement, "but it has to do with your brother."

"hwa, please don't tell me you've been hurting him or something, or someone else is hurting him... is someone bullying hongjoong? who the fuck is it? i swear to god, i'll fuck a bitch u--"

"no! no, it's nothing like that. calm down." seonghwa put his hands up defensively, attempting to calm jongho down a bit.

"so what is it then? what else could involve joong?" jongho asked, confused.

"so, yesterday was his birthday as you know." jongho nodded his head, motioning his hand for the boy to continue, "well, after school i ran to the mall and bought him birthday gifts. i got him a new plushie and some chocolate covered strawberries. when you weren't home, i brought them over to your house and gave them to him. i even ended up staying for dinner after your mother offered."

jongho furrowed his eyebrows, still confused as to what the big deal was, "ok, so you brought him gifts and ate dinner at my house. is that it?"

"n-no..." seonghwa stuttered, "the main reason i'm telling you this is because, well..."

"spit it out man!" jongho screamed out, getting fed up with seonghwa beating around the bush.

"i think... no, scratch that. i know that i like your brother. you know, as more than just a friend." seonghwa finally looked up into jongho's eyes for the first time since entering the bathroom. his heart was racing at one million miles per second, hoping for a positive reaction from his friend.

at first, jongho's face remained blank, seeming like he was processing what seonghwa had said. seonghwa instantly regretted telling the boy, having a feeling like he wasn't going to approve.

"j-jongho, i'm sorry. i can try to get over it. i didn't mean to overstep any boundaries. if you don't want me babysitting him any longer, i'll unde--"

"no, wait." jongho put his hands up, "there's no reason to be sorry."

seonghwa's expression changed from one of sadness to one of happiness "wait, do you mean that?" seonghwa exclaimed, unable to control the goofy smile that formed on his face.

jongho laughed at seonghwa's reaction, "yeah. i actually think you could be a great guy for joongie." jongho shrugged, knowing how good of a boyfriend seonghwa was to his exes.

"so you're not weirded out or anything? you think it's ok for me to, maybe one day, be with your brother?" seonghwa asked, seeking complete approval from the boy.

"honestly, i think you're the type of guy hongjoong needs in his life. i know how you were in past relationships, and i think you're an incredible boyfriend. getting guys has never been easy for poor joongie, everyone always ended up hating him when he admitted his feelings to them. but unlike them, you stuck with him. even though you didn't like him back, you continued talking to him. you didn't completely shut him out, you treated him like a human. you were actually sweeter afterwards, and he's not used to sweet from guys.

i know i can occasionally be a good brother to joong, but there are too many times where i'm the worst brother in the world. like yunho always says, i never stand up for him. i let everyone walk all over him, belittling him for things he was born with and can't help. and i do it for my own sake so i don't seem lame, so more people would like me... and that's terrible. honestly, i can be such an asshole. i want to be better to him, but sometimes i don't know how to. but i mean it when i say i'm learning.

but you, i feel like you can be great to him. please, the one thing i ask of you is don't break his heart. he doesn't deserve it. he's such a great kid, an angel honestly, and he's dealt with too many unnecessary assholes in his life, one being his own b-brother... and i just want him to be happy for once. to be truly happy like he d-deserves." jongho finished pouring his heart out to seonghwa, sounding like he was on the verge of tears. seonghwa realized how much this confession meant for jongho and he pulled the younger in for a comforting hug, rubbing his back to calm him down.

"jongho, i know you don't mean to be an asshole to joong, but i'm glad you realize your faults. and as you know, i used to treat him ten times worse than you ever treated him, but now i know... i realize how terrible i was for no good reason. i never gave the poor boy the time of day, and now look at me, i've never driven to the mall to buy someone a birthday gift so fast in my life!" seonghwa laughed after letting go of jongho, wiping the lone tear rolling down his face.

"yeah, i love my brother so much. he deserves the world, so please give that to him." jongho pleaded and seonghwa nodded his head rapidly in response.

"of course, that's my plan." seonghwa put a hand on jongho's shoulder, rubbing it in a comforting manner.

"ok, now let's go back to lunch before san makes gay jokes about us." seonghwa laughed at jongho's statement and turned around to follow the boy out of the restroom.

seonghwa was overjoyed with jongho's response. it went perfect, greater than he could've ever imagined. he smiled the whole way back to the lunchroom, excited for what the future had in store for him.

mission one, ask for jongho's approval...complete. mission two, tell hongjoong about your feelings.

i've recently come to the conclusion that i use 'deadass' and 'bro' way too much. i promise, i'm not a straight white boy!!! i've sadly formed a habit that i cannot break out of🤧

-vic