Based of - 2x04 Words - 2426 Warnings - mentions of death, fighting, talk of drugs and alcohol.
A/n - Hi sorry, ik that technically Murphy spoke to Raven about his parents and stuff at the start of season 2 but i do write about it being Murphy's first time speaking about it so let's just like pretend that i totally didn't fuck up the timing of this part/ the conversation him and the reader have.
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Your body fell still as your eyes stayed clued in front of you. Sterling was dead and you had let that happen. In some aspects, you had killed him. Well, so you thought anyway. Everyone else knew you had no other choice. They knew what you were like and knew you struggled to let go of that rope. If Bellamy were honest, in that moment he thought you weren't going to let go. That had been until Murphy told you to. Then, you let it go.
Everyone was relieved when you did, happy they had only lost one and not two. Bellamy wouldn't know what to do with himself if he watched you die. Murphy had helped you more than he had. All Bellamy had done was watch. But still, somehow, Murphy had talked sense into you. Something Bellamy never thought he'd see. Yet, he was happy to. Because, if he didn't, you'd be dead.
Although, while everyone fell in relief at what had just happened, you felt lost. You mind felt like clouds as they just replayed the way the rope left your hands over and over. The same way it had done when you watched your father die on your Ark. It was like you couldn't not see it. It was always there, following your thoughts.
Murphy's expression fell as his eyes wondered over to you. He wasn't surprised by what you felt. You felt guilty for killing a grounder, Sterling was a friend. He was never going to be able to feel what you felt in that moment. Because, unlike you, he saw killing as something necessary. A result of surviving.
His hand came to brush over your back, moving from your waist. "Y/n-" He began only for you to realise that Murphy was still behind you. It was as if only now had it clicked that he was right there. That he was the one trying to comfort you. Though, when you did, your instant reaction was to swat him away.
Murphy didn't know what else he had expected. He thought that maybe the fact he had been the one to save your life would make you think of him different. It hadn't. He could only watch as you walked away from him. The rest of the group eyeing you too. Though, not in the way Murphy was. He was longing for the time back when you had let him hold you. He only wished he had said nothing so the moment may have lasted longer.
Bellamy turns away from you after watching your head fall into your hands. As much as he wanted to tell you it would be okay, Mel was still hanging on bellow him. He leaned over the edge, catching sight of the girl. "Mel, Mel, hold on!" He calls out to her. "Focus on me. You can do this." Mel thought different. She had just watched her friend die trying to save her. The motivation to survive was slowly fading, even with Bellamy's words. "You're strong." He added.
