When it's all gone

Chapter 37

"This is taking forever!" Liz bounces in her seat as I grumble, anxious to get this day over with.
I need to talk to Liz about the whole Noah thing but I feel like the Renassiance Festival isn't a good place to do so.
So I'm letting her have her fun for today then I'm going to talk to her.
The main thing bugging me is the whole part about how I don't please Liz. What if he wasn't lying? Am I really that bad? Before I had sex with her it had been a while because I was in a rut, but I'm sure I wasn't bad.
He's just lying to get to my head and I can't let him do that. He would win if I let him do that so I'm going to stop thinking about it completely and act like nothing is wrong until we get back in this car, alone.
I park my car in row 15 and we begin to make our way to the front, which looks forever away to me.
I sigh as we start our trek to the front.
I wrap my fingers with Liz's until we get to the entrance and I pull away to get our passes out to get in and hand them to the guy in a purple Renessiancey outfit.
I chuckle as I take Liz's hand back in mine and walk in.
"Where are Quinn and Nash?" I ask her.
She looks up at me and shrugs.
"I'll call her."
She walks away to call Quinn and I let my eyes wonder around the festival.
I haven't been here in forever.
I'm glad I'm here with Liz though, she will make this fun for me.
She finally returns to me. "They are at Ded Bob. It's about to start so we need to hurry, they saved us spots but you know how people at the Renessiance Festival are, they will do weird and rude shit." She laughs and we lightly jog to the stage.
Once we arrive there of course Quinn and Liz do their hugs and kisses and freak outs and screams even though I'm sure they saw each other probably a few days ago.
I give Nash a small smile and a head nod and take a seat next to Liz.
"I love Ded Bob." She smiles huge.
"I'm glad." I smirk and she leans her head on my shoulder.
I've officially decided that Noah is a complete liar.
I look down at Liz's beautiful eyes and know that she's just as infatuated with me as I am with her.
I kiss her gently on the head and hear an 'aw' from Quinn.
A grown man with a sack over his head and holding a skeleton in his arms, walks out.
"Hey audience!" Ded Bob yells.
"Hey what!" Everyone shouts including Liz, overly excited.
"It's time for the Ded Bob show!" He yells and Liz claps loudly, smiling huge and I can't help but smile with her.
"Everyone get on your feet!" He says. "Turn around. Cup your hands around your mouth, assume the hollaring position." We all do so and Liz giggles.
I lean over and whisper in Liz's ear. "I'm going to need you to do that position again tonight on my dick." I literally couldn't help myself.
She gasps really loud and shoves me.
"Jack!" She squeals.
"Liz!" I mock her.
"Repeat after me," Ded Bob says.
I laugh at how on earth a girl got me to be here, doing this.
"Hey you!" He says.
"Hey you!" We all repeat.
"You meatheads!"
"You meatheads!"
"Get your smelly cheese butts over here!"
"Get your smelly cheese butts over here!"
"You're gonna miss the Ded Bob Show!"
"You're going to miss the Ded Bob Show!"
"Sit down and shut up." He says shaking his head.
"Sit down and shut up." Some of us repeat.
He groans and puts a palm his to his skeleton head.
"I must be in Texas." He sighs and we all laugh.
"The smart ass capital of the world!" He shouts and this gets a loud hollaring and hooting from the crowd.
I smirk because this is true.
Liz holds my hand and looks up at me, knowing that I'm enjoying myself being here, with her.
•••
"Where to next?" Quinn asks with her arm looped with Liz's so I'm walking next to Nash.
"I need to pee!" Liz whines and Quinn nods.
"I'll go with you." And they take off.
"Finally." I breathe out and Nash looks at me, confused.
I laugh at him and shake my head, "I love my girlfriend but I need to talk to you alone." I say.
He raises his eyebrow at me. "Spill."
We take a seat on a bench before I begin.
"So I met up with Noah." I say leaning forward with my elbows on my knees.
"What?" He asks confused and I realize we haven't hung out in a while.
"Well girls take long so I have time to explain." I shrug and begin.
Once I'm finished he stares at me in disbelief.
"Damn." He says with his mouth hanging open.
"Yeah." I shake my head.
"I know he's lying. At least about the sex part. But who knows, maybe she does feel like you're not there for her." He shrugs.
"I would believe the sex thing before that. Liz and I are always together. Honestly I don't know when we aren't together." I say and he nods.
"I get it."
"I needed a good guy talk, JJ has kind of been ignoring me lately." I sigh.
He wasn't there for me much when my sister died. That pissed me off a shit ton.
"Yeah, about that." He sighs. "You might want to talk to him about that. I'm not going to tell you for him." He runs a finger through his hair.
"What?" I ask, confused.
"Okay! So I was thinking we could go to Sherwood Forest now! It has all the games and stuff!" Liz appears next to us and I stare at the floor, confused.
Is Jack mad at me? Did I do something? I don't remember doing anything.
"Babe?" Liz says softly and I look up at her.
"Yeah, sorry. Let's go." I smile.
She looks at me uncertain but finally nods and grabs my hand.
We walk to Sherwood Forest and on the way I buy all of us pickles because according to Quinn they are "to die for." I will admit, they are pretty fucking good.
"Babe! Do the axes." Liz smiles next to me and I know what she's doing.
She gets turned on when I come back from work outs or do push ups in front of her.
"Okayyy Liz." I wink and Nash and I pay 6£.
We both grab 3 axes and listen to the guy talk about how to throw it and shit.
The first one I royally fail and it hits the floor earning some laughs.
"You do it big boy." I smirk at Nash and he tries as well, not doing well.
"Not easy huh?" I laugh.
I pull my arms way behind my head and chunk the axe with all my strength and finally hit the circle of hay.
I hear clapping behind me and I turn around throwing a quick wink at Liz.
Nash hits the hay once and misses the next while I make my next one.
"Here you go." The man hands Nash and I papers that say 'One free kiss.'
I return to Liz with a smirk on my face.
I grab her by the waist and swing her around before dipping her and planting a hard kiss on her lips.
It becomes heated until Quinn and Nash cough, making us seperate.
I stand her up and let her go and her whole face is flustered and she's smiling huge.
"Here you go." I hand her the paper and she slips it in her pocket smiling.
"I'm saving that for later." She laughs.
"Let's go to Drench a Winch." Quinn suggest and we all agree.
I have no fucking clue what that means but okay.
I finally realize what it is once it comes in sight.
It's a lady sitting behind a net up high. She had two giant circle matts on the sides of her with two small circles of metal in the middle.
Many people are surrounding the event as she shouts profanities into the crowd, heckling the throwers.
The object is to throw bean bags and try to hit the metal in the middle to dunk her in the water.
"I'm so doing this." I laugh and Nash nods. "Me too."
"Two buckets please." I tell the lady with large breasts.
I glance just once down at them even though I know I shouldn't and I won't lie, it looks nice.
Once Nash and I go to the side to get ready to throw he says. "You looked too?"
I burst out laughing and nod.
"All the girls here aren't afraid to show what they have." He says chuckling.
"Not at all."
I grab one bag and throw a warm up, not coming close.
"Oh come on big boy you gotta hit the circle in the middle!" She shouts at me.
I look around seeing it's just Nash and I playing, all eyes on us.
I turn around to see Liz throw me a thumbs up.
I throw another one not hitting it, but coming close.
She doesn't say anything but Nash decides to throw one and she shouts, "Come on white boy, you're suppose to throw it not toss it!"
I snicker at how bad that was.
"Nice try sweetheart." I say and throw another one. I miss.
"Awh, nice try sweetheart, try again. Is that what your girlfriend said last night?" She shouts.
I tense up and clench my jaw at her comment. Dammit, really?
I throw another one letting all my anger out on it.
"Wow, if you can't even get me wet, what makes you think your girlfriend will?" She shouts and the whole crowd let's out a series of 'ooos'
I bite my lip hard, trying not to fight back. Calm down Jack.
Nash throws some and she says some less rude comments while I recover myself.
"C'mon babe, you've rested long enough, I'm not even horny anymore." She yells. "De ja vu?" She asks and my whole arm stiffens.
I turn around to face Liz and she looks nervous.
I throw another bag hard and it tips the metal barely but she doesn't drop.
"What? Bullshit!" I scream and the wench chuckles.
"Wait, did it happen?!? I didn't even feel anything! Try again!" She shouts and by now I'm fuming.
My brain can't help but wander back to Noah and I's conversation and my face heats up.
"See that hole right there? It goes there! Wait you already hit it? I didn't even know, it was so small!" She laughs and I can't take it anymore.
I throw one so hard that it hits the metal so hard it bounces back off and goes about 5 feet back towards me.
The wench goes dropping into the water and I turn to some random guy.
"You can take the rest." I say gesturing to the bucket with bags still in it, and walk off.
"Jack!" Liz shouts running after me.
I stop and turn to her.
"Yeah?" I say nonchalantly and see Nash and Quinn coming from the crowd behind her.
"What's wrong?" She asks sincerely.
Nash looks at me, with sorry written all over his face.
"Nothing, she's just annoying." I shrug and she slowly nods.
"Let's go to the tomato man!" Quinn suggests.
Liz shoots her a warning glare.
"It's the same thing but with a guy and tomatoes." Liz says gritting her teeth.
"It's fine." Quinn huffs out and we follow her.
Once we arrive Nash and I once again pay the huge breasted ladies for some tomatoes and I take a huge breath.
"Hey look they finally decided to get some tools to cut these tomatoes apart." The man shouts and I snicker.
"I heard about a smart blonde, and I did a couple tests and found out it was a golden retriever." He shouts referring to Liz standing by my side.
Don't get angry Jack.
I throw a tomatoe hard at him and it goes through the hole of which his hands go through.
"Wrong hole, how many times has that happen dumbass?" He shouts and I shift my position uncomfortably.
Nash throws one straight at his face and the crowd goes crazy.
"Nice." I mumble a little embarrassed.
I throw my next one and miss horribly.
"Hello! The hole is right here! But take your time! Right sweetheart?" He asks Liz and she grabs onto my arm.
"Don't let it get to you." She whispers not even realizing what happen yesterday morning.
I throw my last one and hit him directly in the face.
"Woah I actually felt that one! Has that ever happen sweetheart?" He asks Liz again.
"Fuck off! You're just mad I nailed your face." I shout.
"Just like your girlfriend last night, I didn't enjoy it!" He begins laughing and everyone stares at me.
Do all these people always make sexual comments? Damn.
"Jack.." Liz warns.
"Let's go." She drags me away from the scene and my mind is swirling.
"Where to next?" Quinn asks clearly not seeing the situation.
"I think Jack and I are going to go." Liz says, she can tell something's on my mind.
"What?!? No way! We just got started!!" Quinn says but Liz pulls her away to talk to her.
"I'm sorry man, that wasn't suppose to come up that much. Bad timing huh?" He chuckles and I nod.
"What if it's true? If random people can tell then-"
"Woah." Nash laughs. "That's just their job, they can't see shit. They don't know how much y'all love each other and that no matter what, Liz loves you. I don't know if you're good at sex because Liz took you away before I had the chance to find out." He jokes wiping a non-existent tear and I burst out laughing.
"But, I know that even if you sucked she obviously still loves you. So don't let it get to you." He puts an arm around my shoulders.
"And I've talked to girls you've screwed and by what I've heard, you have nothing to worry about." He chuckles and so do I.
"Thanks man, see ya." I hug him quickly and I grab Liz's hand as she approaches us.
"I'm sorry Liz." I say as we walk away.
"What's been up with you?" She asks concerned.
"Let's talk in the car." I say rubbing her hand with my thumb and she nods.
•••
"You went behind my back to talk to Noah?!?" She shouts as we pull out of the parking lot and wait in a horribly long line to get out.
"I'm sorry, but I knew you were hiding something and it was the only way to figure it out, and I did and let me tell you one thing." I pause breathing in.
"I'm not fucking okay with it Liz. You also went behind my back and let Noah into your house! You'll be sleeping there and so will he, y'all will do everything together and when I'm not there only god knows what will go down!" I shout.
"Jack, you should trust me enough to know I would never cheat on you!" She throws back.
"How can I trust you whenever you pulled this shit?!?" I demand.
She's silent for a moment "I knew you would say no." She says.
"Of course I would! And it's not that I don't trust you besides the whole not telling me part but I don't trust him! He's a lying manipulative asshole! He almost raped you and you trust him into your home? No, I won't allow it. Over my fucking dead body." I yell.
"You can't tell me how to live my life Jack! I'm my own person not your property!" She wipes a tear off her cheek.
I breathe out trying to control myself. "I know he doesn't have good intentions Liz, I know it." I sigh.
"How so?"
"He tried to rape you!" I scream out in frustration.
"He was drunk!"
"And that makes it okay?!?" I scream.
Is she seriously defending him?!
She doesn't say anything for a while and I know I've caught her.
"When I went to talk to him he told me all this bullshit about how I don't please you enough in sex and how in never there for you. And that he was going to fuck you and please you. You can't tell me those are good intentions." I say quieter.
"That's why you were upset?" She asks in almost a whisper.
I run a hand through my hair and sigh.
"Yes, I'll do anything for you. Anything to please you and I will run the earth end to end for you and you can't see that. I'm not just being a jealous boyfriend I know this guy is bad news." I blow out air, frustrated.
"You still can't tell me what to do." She says calmly.
"Hell I can!" I scream again.
"No, you can't! And I'm sick of you thinking you control my life! I am going to do whatever the hell I want!" She cries out.
"Anything but this." I close my eyes briefly before driving again.
"Jack, if we can't even trust each other we can't even have a basic base of a relationship." She says catching me off guard.
"I do trust you, but when you do shit like this I rethink it."
"Me too." She snaps back.
"Are we even going to make it past highschool?" She asks fast as if she's been holding it for a long time.
"What? How did we get to this?" I ask confused as hell.
"If we can barely hold our shit together now, we obviously can't last much longer. And if we make a stupid decision like moving in together or going to the same college and it doesn't work out, it ruins everything." She begins crying again.
"Liz, we are going to make it together. Don't you know that?" I glance at her briefly before returning my gaze back to the road.
"I don't know." She says.
"Do you want to marry me?" She blurts.
Woah. Wait what? Did she just ask me that? I'm a senior in highschool for fucks sake.
"What?" I ask.
"Would you ever want to marry me? Not now, or anything time soon but at any point, would you?" She asks, her voice shaking.
I think about this for a second. I've never thought of myself as a married guy. Ever. Not even while I've been with Liz. I know that I love Liz, but do I want to marry her?
Do I want to have the same women all my life? Do I want to have sex with only one women for the rest of my life?
"I-I don't know. Why are you asking me this?"
"I just need to know." She scratches her head.
"I don't know." I sigh. "Can't we ju-"
"I need to know now." She blurts again.
"Why?" I ask.
"Because I don't want to waste any more time on a lost cause." Another tear down her cheek.
"I'm a lost cause?" I ask a little hurt.
Why would she say that? I love her and I want to be with her. Just because I don't know if I want to get married at the age of 18 doesn't mean I don't want to be with her.
"So is that a no?" She ignores my last question.
"It's not a no but definitely not a yes. Liz, I'm 18 and you're almost 18 but just because highschool is almost over doesn't mean you immediately need to know how your life is going to go." I look at her and she has her knees pulled up to her chest and her chin on her knees.
"Take me home." She mumbles.
I take a right down the road to her house.
"Liz, I love you with all my heart and I will do anything for you. But I just don't know about this right now. I do want to be with you, I just don't know about marriage. I'm too young to know that and so are you." I sigh turning onto her street.
"I need a guy who knows what he wants, not a guy who just wants to just 'see how things go'. What about college? Where are we going to go? If we go seperate ways, we'll just break up anyways." She sighs.
"You think we won't last?" I ask.
"You're the one that doesn't know." She throws back at me.
"Tell me you'll at least marry me someday. Doesn't matter how far. Give me something though, please. A little glimmer of hope, something. Please." She searches my eyes for something but I can't. I can't promise her something I can't fulfill. Maybe im not the right guy, she's right. I can't give her what she needs.
So I sit there, a blank expression on my face, waiting for her to get out.
"So you went to Noah because I can't give you what you want? Marriage? So he wasn't lying?" I ask.
She looks away for a second before nodding.
"Get out." I demand, beyond furious.
She turns to me with tears in her eyes which are immediately over-taken by anger.
"I'm sorry, Jack." She says, her voice cracking. She gets out quickly slamming the door behind her.
She runs to her door crying and my heart already hurts to see her go. But I have to do it. It's for the best.
She can't just waltz around controlling everthing in her life. If one thing doesn't go right, she has to fix it.
That's the one and only thing I can't stand about Liz Hardy.
Other than that I'm completely in love with her.
I just had the first heartbreak of my life, and I hate it, being vulnerable.
I never saw it coming.
I guess you don't realize what you have until it's gone.