Hayley ze queen's POV
"Oooh and lemme get some of dat Chocolate, strawberry, banana,
And vanilla cake that would be nice
And ice whipped cream cake.
And chocolate cake cream cake also with a little lemon
And herb cake.
And some fat cake over there
Tomato sauce cake over there.
Vegemite cake oh what other cakes can we have?
Fucking Jacob Fultons mmm fucking cake" I said to the waitress who looked at me weirdly in the Pastry shop.
Okay let me fill you in, after my five minute phase of talking about the illuminonsense and Iphones and stuff Ariel and I went to karate class because we needed to learn how to defend ourselves if superman didn't come to kick the bad guys' asses for us.
We had classes for about an hour and a half, we did some gymnastics and I even learned how to do an arial and a back tuck! I know I know, I FRICKING RULE....no? Fine...I like food more than I like you anyways...
Anyways back to where we are, at Molly's Mouthwatering Cake shop...talk about creative shop names hehe.
"I'm sorry miss but aren't you just saying the lyrics of the song Real girls eat cake by the Janoskians?" Miranda asked.
Well her name is actually Sally but she looks like a Miranda to me.
"YOU HAVE NO PROOF. YOU'RE JUST AN ALIEN AND YOU ATE MY CHILD," I screamed.
A few gasps and random
"Cannibalism"
"I don't believe it"
And
"Disgusting absolutely revolting" were heard around the cake shop.
"What? I did no such thing!" Mira- I mean Sally shrieked.
"I am soo sorry for the disturbance!" Ariel stated coming from the bathroom in a rush.
"What is wrong with your friend?" Sally asked quite rudely if I do say so myself.
"Nothing it was just a joke," Ariel said "come on Zee, behave yourself! You don't want to get kicked out of the shop now do you? If so you won't get any cake"Ari said
Well that shut me up.
"Good girl (A/N good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught!)" Ari said patting me on the head.
"Now what would you like to order?" Sally the bossy waitress asked
"Can I just have some green tea please?" Ari replied. GURL YOU COME TO A FUCKING CAKE SHOP AND ORDER TEA?! GREEN TEA!...okay.
"Well thy shall have three slices of the black forest gateau with a sprinkle of pixie dust"
"Just get her three slices of her black forest whatever" Ari said rolling her eyes at my childishness.
"Hey girl" I said to Sally as she was turning to leave.
"What?" She asked with a tight smile
Hehe amma annoy you even more with what I'm about to say...
"I see you made an effort with your lipstick,
But you got some on your teeth
You fucking dipshit," I sang to Sally, Ariel chuckled lightly as Sally groaned and walked away
^^^AFTER EATING AND A VERY BORING DRIVE BACK HOME^^^
"Urgh..." I groaned, I really shouldn't have eaten six sprinkled donuts on the way back.
"Peasant!" I yelled at Ariel from the couch that my body parts were sprawled onto. "What?" Ari sighed as she came into the living room holding a big red book.
"Is this gonna last forever?" I whined in pain as another wave of nauseaus (A/N I don't know how to spell it sorry excuse me (: ) hit me in the stomach.
"Holy fried pickles! Hayley you're burning up!" Ari stated in a worried tone as she put her hand on my forehead. "We need to go to the hospital for a check up" she said.
......FUCK NO.....
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Hey dudes and dudettes! I decided to give you a christmas treat hehe
I hope you like this chapter! Sorry they're all so short but I'm really busy though I'll start making them longer as we go mkay? Kay.
VOTES VOTES CAST YOUR VOTES! THEY ARE FOR THIS GUY!...or nah
I also posted a vid of The Janoskians Real Girls Eat Cake so enjoy my lil gummy bears ♥
And thank you for 100 reads bæs, think we could get it to 125?
Xoxo
~Fried Chickenisha
EDITED
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Don't Touch My Food Bish (A One Direction Humor Fanfiction)
Fanfiction"And he took MY food and ATE it. That was when Pocahontas's dad and I sounded the drums of war." ..... Hayley Artemis Ivani doesn't give a belly dancing shit about what other people think of her most of the time and is an oreo-and-nutella-loving reb...
