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9. September 2019.

 I wanted this to happen ever since I started to feel something more towards him, but now, I am not sure anymore. I am trying to move on so I am being reserved now and colder to Will. Soon he is starting something, he's going to some classes and then, there won't be time for us, no more free time for coffee but tell me when he had the time. Maybe this is a good thing, less time with me, maybe that's what he wanted. I feel like I should stop training for now but I'm scared. It's this thing that I don't know how would he react to it and he would ask me what is the reason but what am I supposed to say? 'I love you and I can't spend one more minute with you like this.'

I know it's easy to talk to him and if I tell him it's something else I know that he would understand and I am scared of the outcome, I am always scared of the outcome whatever it is about. I feel light and open when we talk but when big words like 'dinner' and 'stop training' come out I would freak out.

I'm scared again. Am I going to lose him? Oh, God, no! Maybe I should talk to him, isn't that the key to a good relationship? It terrifies me thinking about talking to him but how am I supposed to move on if I don't talk to him. I don't want to break this what we have.