Take a look inside

14. January 2019.

 Like always I got there earlier and so I saw the owner of the gym finishing his training. I didn't know he was the owner until Will told me, he's a former basketball player which you can see that by his height, damn. When the owner left we were alone. He greeted me with the biggest smile on his face, I love it. That is the best way to say hi to someone so I smiled back. With that big and beautiful smile, he asked me if we are doing boxing today. "Definitely." I said with a serious tone but with a smile on my face. "Oh, you are hooked." Boxing is my vent and I need it every time. While I was on bike Will leaned on the bike next to me. "Hey, I saw this movie it was really good..." He started... I have told him that I saw Shawshank redemption, he has seen it so we were talking about it, the movie is so good, everything is good with Morgan Freeman. Later for boxing, he kept showing me how to do it properly because I wasn't doing it right before. I kept punching with hands but I need to do it with my hips, there's no effect when I use just hands so I tried to do it from my hips. Will told me to imagine him as the bag and he said something that was implied as a joke. "No, no, it's not you." I didn't want to make him feel bad. This time while boxing I wasn't thinking about anything, it's the first time my mind was free, that was empty. When I was taking a break from boxing and as I was walking towards him, he was showing me his back, I came to him and my hand was right behind his ass so I removed it right a second before he turned to me. I want to grab him so badly that I am barely holding back. When he is close to me and he looks at me with those sky blue eyes I can see the spark, I see the way he's looking at me and I didn't like it. He was looking at me as a friend, that spark was friendly. It was beautiful but I didn't want this to happen. His smile and his look was everything to me. I was looking at him while he was looking at me. A friend. It's not what I wanted but at this point, I'll take anything. I'll try to be a friend, I'll try to be a good friend as long as I get to keep him in my life. It was amazing today, it reminded me of the good old days. I want more of those moments with him. I want anything that includes him, I wish that I could spend more time with him, as a friend. Should I tell him that? Should I say anything? Should I ask him out again, as friends of course? I want to see more of him.

After training, I had a massage, well... like always it was... hot. He started and I was... My breathing was ... I tried to control it. He was going lower that's for sure, I felt that he was going for my ass but too bad it was just briefly. The touch was incredible I don't know how to explain it. I was... All I could think of was turning around on my back and grabbing him to kiss him. I was so holding back but then he was standing right above my head. I felt him, his lips were so close to me. 'Just kiss me already' I thought to myself. There was this moment when he was up on the table to do his thing but my hand was feeling like it needed to touch something, thankfully I didn't touch anything.