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16. August 2019.

 Am I a pain in the ass? I would want to know that, I wish I could know because I know how it is when someone is so annoying, I would want to know if I am so I would stop being like that. I don't like it if I am annoying or boring or even if I am bothering, I don't like doing that to people because I don't like it when someone is annoying me.

I don't know if I am being a pain in the ass to him and if I am he's not telling me anything. I am trying again but I'm not sure if I am supposed to if he's dating. I see that he's having those mood swings that I had before, he wasn't peachy today so I didn't want to be a bother with talking. Now, the million-dollar question, am I supposed to keep trying? I gave up on him because I see that there is nothing there, that he's not trying and that there are no sparks like before so I'm out. If he's out, I'm out. See ya, bye.

If it was meant to be like this then great. Then why did I even met him? I regret it now. He made me fall for him so I would feel like crap because oh well this shit is not happening at all. Then why the hell was I supposed to meet him? What is the purpose of this? To hurt me? He made me fall for him and now I feel like a fool that I did. I fell for the guy who's not even for me. Why is that? Why does the universe hate me so much? I wish I never met him. I wasted a year of my life on a guy who has no interest in me. How was I supposed to know that he was showing me signals just to mess with me or was there anything at all? Why did this happen? To show me that he likes me? To play a game with me? To find a trustworthy person in me? To find a friend in me? To use all that and to screw me over? Well... screw you, I'm done.