Dark Paradise | Kylo Ren | X Reader

22 You're My Weakness 22

As Kylo finished cleaning your face, the white cloth was soaked with the reminisce of his violent act. He discarded of it and retrieved the clothing you'd originally showed up in, handing it to you and dressing himself as well. After he was decent, he plopped down on the bed and stared you blankly in the face.

"Kylo...please. Don't get mad. Just let me ask you, what happened, why didn't- why didn't you stop?"

Kylo took a deep breath in."I don't know."

"Kylo. Please, talk to me." You stared up at him with wide eyes.

He let out a sigh. "I- I was distracted...by my thoughts."

"W- what kind of thoughts?" You were cautious with your tone, making sure not to provoke any anger in him.

Kylo's hand traveled up to his jaw, rubbing it in distress. "Things from my past, that's all."

"Oh." You wish he would've shared a little more with you. "Kylo...you can't hit me to that extent ever again...ever, okay?"

"I know." Kylo's head dropped in shame.

You felt like a fool, helping him, comforting him, asking about his feelings...but you didn't want to leave him, you couldn't leave him. You knew deep down, there was a person in there...someone that Kylo used to be...and you were determined to find that person.

"What are you afraid of?" Your tone was soft.

"What do you mean?" He looked up with confusion.

"Why do you treat me the way you do...why don't you ever show me any real affection?"

He failed to respond.

"Hello?" You leaned into closer to him.

"Because, I- I cant." He shook his head, raising his voice slightly.

"But why?"

"You're- you're my weakness." He began to run his digits through his locks.

"What?" A lump grew in your throat.

"You'll break me. You're already breaking me." His eyes shut tightly.

Had Kylo really just said that? "I- I don't know what to say." You were genuinely speechless.

"Don't say anything." Kylo rose from the mattress. "It's getting late, I'm heading to bed soon. You should do the same." He grabbed what looked to be black sweats and a black sweatshirt, from his bag.

"O- okay." You got up from the bed and retrieved your pajamas from the bag you'd packed.

The two of you changed and you headed into the bathroom to wash up. Never in your life had you worn this much makeup and you only hoped it'd come off with ease. When you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror you leaned in to examine your cheek, it wasn't as bad as you thought it was, you'd be fine. But for now it was a reminder of how violent Kylo could get, and that scared you.

You washed off your makeup, carefully avoiding the affected area of broken skin. After patting your face dry, you were luckily only left with a few traces of mascara, which didn't really bother you. When you entered back into the room, Kylo was laying on the bed with his stomach facing up towards ceiling. He appeared conflicted, shifting to rest on his side as you crept closer. You made your way to the opposite side and slowly slipped underneath the covers, turning your back towards Kylo.

Your eyes remained open for many, many minutes, as you were unable to fall asleep. The only thing that filled your mind was the impassioned sentence that Kylo had spoken before, "You're my weakness." To hear those words, from...him, it was heart wrenching, and you weren't sure why. You should've been happy that he'd finally opened up to you...but he seemed so pained while saying it, and that pained you. But the feeling of wanting to be near him, never departed from your thoughts. You still wanted to be with him. Even laying directly next to him, he was still so far away. All you wanted was to feel him.