Taken into the Unknown (Complete)

The Cascade Suite

            Oh, so that cold-blooded beast, Jones, actually does care.

            “Then I only have one other thing to ask you. Damon, why have you been avoiding me and deliberately keeping me away from you?”

            He looked away, refusing to look me in the eye. “I already told you why.”

            “Oh, you mean that half-assed response about it being better for me if you leave me alone? Yeah well that’s not gonna cut it. Damon, I have feelings for you. Blame it on Stockholm’s syndrome or whatever you want but that’s not going to change the fact that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you every day since you ditched me at the hospital.  Damon I l—really like you.”

            “Well the feelings aren’t mutual.”

            I was stunned into silence. Maybe it was because I had somehow always felt that Damon had started developing feelings for me somewhere in all that time together in Alaska that I hadn’t really thought about the fact that Damon might not reciprocate my feelings. Had I misread the signs all that time? Could I really have been that misguided, or was he just saying all of this because it was ‘for my own good’? But why was he so adamant about staying away from me? Perhaps he only used that as an excuse for his real intentions. Could it be possible that he was just playing with me all this time?

            “So then you’re telling me that…all of that time we spent together…it meant nothing to you?”

            He didn’t answer.

            “The-the time we went snowboarding and watched the aurora borealis, when you comforted me during the thunderstorm that one night, the boat ride…the time you almost kissed me…and just now when we were singing and dancing together. What was all of that?” I asked dazed.

            He continued to give me the silent treatment.

            “What the hell was all of that?!” I demanded, raising my voice, “Were you just trying to be nice? Were you just doing it so I would tell you everything you wanted to know? Was it—was it pity for me? Did you feel bad that the poor ugly nerd never had a boyfriend, her first kiss, affection? Were you playing with me?!

            “Yes…”

            “Yes, WHAT?! I don’t believe you! I don’t know what your reasons are but I think you’re just trying to keep me out of your life. I don’t understand why you keep shutting people out of your life! Forget about the notion that you’re no good for me, am I no good for you?! If you really mean it then I want you to say it to my face.”

            He rubbed his face and slowly turned his head to look me in the eye.  Then, very calmly and with a straight face, he said to me, “Yes to all of the above. I played with your heart, I pitied you, I wanted information out of you, and I didn’t really care what happened to you. You were just a tool. And I certainly NEVER had feelings for you. Anything nice I have ever done for you since the day I met you was out of pity towards you and my own guilt. You need to move on.”

            I stood transfixed as Damon’s words sunk in. I opened my mouth to say something but the only thing that came out was a quiet but sorrowful sob. The room and Damon’s face became blobs of color as tears blurred my vision. A heavy feeling in my chest left me weak as my legs shook, threatening to give in.  Where butterflies and warm feelings once filled me, there now seemed to be a black hole. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. I wiped my tears with my thumb so as not to smear mascara and eyeliner all over my face. I deepened my breathing and held back any more tears. Something just wasn't adding up here.