The Doctor

Chapter 5: A Walk in the Garden

   I woke up this morning and it suddenly hit me that I wasn't going home. I was at first scared, then relieved but now I've gone into a sort of depression. No one should ever have to feel this way. Everyone should be sad that they weren't ever going home to their family again, not sad because I wasn't sad. No matter how much my Ma has changed I still love her. She's still my mom and we've still gone through everything together. The divorce, I held her close while she cried. My first boy friend who broke my heart she held me while I cried. When I broke my leg, she drove me to the hospital and actually stayed instead of pushing me out of the car and driving off like I had suspected she would. When she started drinking I was the one who convinced her to lay off but then I went away to camp and in my absence she went down and I could never get her back from the slump. In the end I was the one who failed her and now all I could hope was that she wasn't so far gone, that she could still take care of herself. For the last year I was the only reason she lived because I always made sure she ate regularly and was in good health, now I've abandoned her. I wondered if she missed me or noticed my absence? If she has she probably thought I didn't love her and I abandoned her like the bad child I was. I couldn't sleep but I didn't have to go to work until 8 so I still have 4 hours to lay in bed and feel sorry for myself which I really shouldn't be doing. I could have a great life here with friends and maybe find love and live out life like normal in the little community here but it didn't feel right. 

   I dragged my self out of bed but didn't feel like getting dressed so I threw on a black wrap around my short, black night gown. It reminded me of me when I first found it in the wardrobe because it was lacy and cute and I was named lacy so I found it ironic enough to actually want to wear despite the fact I wouldn't want to wear it ordinarily.

   I looked out the back doors and saw a little garden lit by some lamps scattered around and I decided to go see it. It was chilly and dark out but I didn't care at this point, I was hoping walking around the little garden would help ease me again and make me happy like they always used to do back at home. 

   The garden was filled with flowers that left the air smelling sweet, I smiled inhaling the sent and felt a little better. I walked about the pathway for a few minutes before I found a little gazebo sitting in the middle with vines slowly creeping up it's sides. The wind blew and I drew my cover closer to me as I shivered. 

   "You really need to learn how to dress for the winter." I heard a voice tell me. I jumped, standing on the stairs of the gazebo and saw The Doctor sitting on a bench turned towards a window, lying his arms on the sill and his head on his arms not looking at me.

   "Sorry, I didn't realize it bothered you so much." I mumbled bitterly and began to walk though the little gazebo and down the other steps.

   "Thats not going to get you away from me. Thats the direction of the boys dorm and I'll have to go back that way soon." He warned with a sigh. His heart didn't seem into the conversation but his mouth didn't want to stop. I sighed to but at his annoyance,

   "Well maybe I'm going to visit someone, what then?" I said testing him. He sat up and looked at me.

   "Then you get in trouble because girls aren't allowed in the boy's dorm."

   "Why? When you have girls and boys cooped up together you can't exactly keep them apart."

   "I know but I like to try and cut down the number of pregnant girls in my office and your not fooling anyone. I know your not out here to go see someone despite your strange choice in walking clothing." I pulled my cover closer around me. 

   "I'm out here cause I cant sleep, K. You happy?" I said turning to walk away again. He got up and walked next to me. 

   "I couldn't either but I'm bored and looking for someone to talk to." I snorted,