About (Harry Styles)

43.

I shake my head immediately, opening my eyes to see his concerned expression . "It's probably nothing serious. I'll be fine by tomorrow."

He's not convinced, but he doesn't say anything else to force me. He continues to stand there, pinching his bottom lip with two fingers, clearly deep in thought.

"If it's not too much to ask.. I want to ask you something," I say, as he proceeds to stare at the floor. He's avoiding my gaze on purpose.

"Now's not the time for questions, Elaine," he says with a low voice.

But I have so many questions for him.

Like why did he make me quit my job and my schooling ... Why did he want me to have my phone at all times ... Those are very strange conditions to give someone ...

But most importantly, what made him come back the morning after ... Why did he ... What was he going to tell me ...

"We have to leave early so get some rest," he advises with a stern expression.

As he turns out the light and closes the door, a delayed sigh escapes from my lips.

"Good night, Harry," I say to myself.

The headache is slowly subsiding, but a new source of discomfort is swelling in another part of my body.

It's hard to ignore it, but it's tolerable.

Each moment I have with him, he's getting further away from me.

But that's what I wanted, wasn't it? I wanted to push him away. That was the intention of telling him I only wanted sex.

I can't pull him back in. I can't give in to how he makes me feel. Even if I tell him the truth, how I honestly feel, he's never going to trust me no matter what I say. Being nice to each other would only give us both whiplash ...

...

The last time I was on a flight to England, I was with my best friend. We had so much in front of us - a different country, new experiences, new acquaintances.

I didn't expect that my next trip back would be with someone like Harry.

He offers me the window seat, and I take it without a second thought. He's been extra kind to me ever since this morning. He volunteered to carry my luggage to the cab. He also gave my mother a kiss on the cheek goodbye. I suppose that's part of the European culture but odd of Harry to do. We're not in a real relationship. He doesn't have to treat my mother so well.

Whether it's out of pity or that we're going out into the public eye for the first time, whatever it is, I hope it doesn't last. It's only going to be harder to act indifferent towards him.

My mind wanders off as I keep my eyes out the window, the sun lighting up everything in its path - the surrounding planes, the trees out in the distance, the evergreen plains. I have a newfound respect for nature.

This is what happens when you don't want to talk to the person next to you or the other way around. You start thinking nonsense.

"Hey," he says. I turn to look at him, too quickly that our noses almost touch. I back away immediately, giving us some space to breathe.

"Sorry," I blurt.

"It's okay. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, I'm okay now."

He examines my expression carefully.  I'm not sure what he's looking for specifically. Maybe to see if I'm really feeling okay.

I am hoping to ask him my questions, but it doesn't feel like the right time. With so many people on the plane, it's too close in proximity and easy for people to eavesdrop.