Theo (Boyxboy)(Trans)

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Little bird, what are you doing?" My aunt laughs, shaking her head at my antics.

I  don't respond as I hold eye contact with the giant fish on the other side of the glass wall, my eyes widening and my mouth making a little 'o' to mimic it. Auntie laughs as I start swaying side to side making 'blub blub' noises trying to talk to the fish. 

"What are you doing, weirdo!" Carter laughs, shoving his funnel cake in my mouth, making me choke on laughter.

"Carter! You broke my concentration, we were having a serious talk!" I try to say with a straight face, stealing another chunk of funnel cake.

Auntie comes over and and starts doing what I had been, dramatically 'blubbing' to the fish, before turning to us and saying, "You've greatly offended Roger, Carter, he's talking about serious revenge right now."

Carter rolls his eyes, "Great, now you've both lost it."

Auntie pokes my side and we both giggle, rushing up to Carter to each steal a little more funnel cake, making him protest in annoyance. I remember falling behind while Carter playfully bickers with his mom, completely mesmerized by the multi-coloured fish swimming all around on either side of the glass hallway. The last thing I recall of that moment is hearing my aunt call my name and turning to see her holding a hand out to me, asking me to catch up.

My eyes open and I squint at the bright fluorescent bulbs above, dipping my head low to rub my tired eyes, my neck noticeably sore from how I'd fallen asleep. I sit with my arms resting on my knees, unable to stop thinking about the dream I just had. It's been a long time since I thought about that day and lately it seems more memories of my aunt keep resurfacing. I love them, but in this situation, they're only serving to make keeping my composure that much harder.

"You up?" I look up and see Carter, Lane asleep against him.

The three of us have been holed up together in the waiting room for two days, "How long was I out?"

"Two hours," Carter tells me, making me sigh and stretch although it doesn't help my cramped muscles much. "You should really go rest at the hotel for a bit, I'll be fine that long."

I shake my head, standing up, "I wouldn't be able to rest easy knowing you're here unable to tdo the same, stop trying to get rid of me."

He smiles faintly, but it's weak, "Whatever."

"You guys talk too much," Lane grumbles, burying his face further into Carter's hoodie. 

I look at my best friend and take in his appearance. He looks tired and little haggard from not showering in a day and a half and sleeping on hospital chairs. There's slight shadows under his eyes and he has a little stubble growing in. It dawns on me that he's taken on our burdens, that he's here sitting in our dark little world with us and that support makes my heart hurt.

I've been hiding so much from someone who cares about me so much, and for what? Why am I so scared to tell him? He's never given me a single reason to think anything could make him hate me, so why am I acting like I can't trust him? I know I can trust him more than almost anyone, so what is it that's holding me back? I need to figure that out quickly, or I'm scared this distance between us will just keep growing and I won't know how to cross it again.

"Do I have something on my face?" Lane questions, making me blink in surprise as I realize I've been staring. 

"No, sorry, I'm just zoning out," I sigh, grabbing my hoodie from the chair that I'd been using as a pillow and pull it on. "I'm going to get coffee, want some?"