Ambivalence - yoonseok

12- I ' m_s o r r y

Unedited

TW: there is harsh language and panic attacks in this chapter as well as things that might be triggering for some. This will be the last time i put a warning for my chapters.

Also, things are moving very fast because I'm trying to get to the main point without putting out 18 chapters of filler. From here up until maybe the 15th chapter, there will be lots of angst.

............

Yoongi finally stepped out of his room at 12:55 am.

His eyes were bloodshot and his throat was soar from crying so much. He felt tired and sick and he had a raging headache but he couldn't go to sleep.

He just knew he'd have a nightmare and he wouldn't be able to sleep for days and hat though haunted him. He's been crying for three hours, on and off. Whenever he thought back to what happened, he cried again. Now, he was stepping out of his room only to get some water because he was dehydrated.

He walks carefully down the hallway, running his fingers against the walls as guidance because it was dark. He walks uneasily until he makes it down the stairs and past the water fountain that he forgot Hoseok had. During the day, he never really heard it but now that there was no sound, all he could hear was the fountain and he found it comfortable.

So comfortable.

He closes his eyes and just listens to the sound of the trickling water. He, for the first time today, always himself to rest. To calm his stressed mind and body. And it feels good.

After about three minutes of just leaning against the wall and listening to the therapeutic water sounds, Yoongi stands up and goes to the kitchen to retrieve some water for himself. He shivers as his feet touch the cold tile of the floor, making his way over to the cabinets where Hoseok keeps the cups.

Of course, Yoongi can't reach it and he doesn't have the energy to jump. "Fuck this shit," he groans before struggling to lift himself up onto the marble countertop clumsily. He almost tumbles off, but luckily catches himself.

He stands and shakily reaches up, opening the cabinet door and grabbing a cup out. Just as he goes to close it, his foot slips and the cup crashes to the ground right before he does.

But...the ground isn't as hard and cold as he remembered.

"Shit, dude, what were you doing on the counter?" Taehyung says as he gently sets Yoongi back on to his feet, being cautious about the glass.

Yoongi takes deep breaths, trying to over come the shock of what just happened and the loud sound of the cup that echoed throughout the empty house.

"Hey...um-" Taehyung approaches him but he immediately flinches back.

"Yoongi, let me help-"

But instead, the smaller hybrid drops down to the floor, pushing his knees to his chest and hiding his face in them, using his arms to cover his head. "P-please! I-I already a-apologized! I-I'm sorry!"

"Yoongi, it's fine, I wanted to apologize as well." Taehyung says, though his voice is more quieter. "Calm down-"

"I-I didn't mean to make you mad! P-please...m-master please! I'll be good! I'm sorry!" Yoongi cries, body shaking as he chokes on his tears.

And Taehyung gasps. The guilt he feels is tremendous. He takes a step closer, tears filling his eyes. "Yoongi, I'm sorry." He mumbles, "I'm sorry."

"P-p-please m-master!" Yoongi continues to cry and it didn't take long for Hoseok to dash into the kitchen.