Ambivalence - yoonseok

40- c o n f u s i o n

Unedited + sorry for the long wait! I fell into a writer's block with this story but I'm back now!
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Yoongi did what Yoongi always does when he experiences a minor inconvenience that leaves him embarrassed and depressed. He hid himself in the confines of his closet, where it's dark and small and oddly enough, he found comfort in it.

He doesn't remember when he started hiding in small, dark places or why he likes to. All he knows is that when at the facility, sometimes he used to hide under his bed. There were the times when Master would put him in a cage, and for some strange reason, he grew to like the small confines of it.

It was suddenly when he came back to reality. He had been zoned out, dissociating from the present and when he finally came back, he was a bit confused. He knew he was in the closet, he remembers coming in there directly after waking up this morning, but he doesn't know why he's crying or why his chest aches so much.

Last night was horrible. He cried himself to sleep and had a nightmare. He woke up and laid idle for hours before falling back to sleep in the early peak of morning. And as soon as he woke up, he was hit with so much embarrassment and anger towards himself that he wanted to hide. In actuality, he wants to hide from himself. He doesn't want to be associated with the person he became last night and while that isn't physically possible, it won't stop him from trying.

Yoongi considers leaving the closet. His stomach growls, now having gotten used to eating full meals. And he skipped dinner so he was especially hungry this morning. But he doesn't want to go out there yet. He wants to hide a little longer.

Like a fox, he enjoys small and dark places. He's nocturnal, which most hybrids aren't, and can see in the dark, therefore never had a fear of it. It brought comfort to him. And after last night's breakdown, he definitely needed it.

His ear flicks at the sound of Seokjin asking Jimin if he's seen him. He had to be still downstairs, Seokjin naturally has a louder voice. Jimin doesn't seem to be little, judging by the sound of his voice as he responds to Jin. Yoongi wipes the tears from his eyes as he hears Seokjin come up the stairs.

"Yoongi?" Seokjin opens his bedroom door. Yoongi stays quiet. He doesn't want to be found.

And then Jin leaves and checks the bathroom and Hoseok's room. He begins to feel bad when he hears the worry in his voice when Jin begins questioning Jimin about his whereabouts. And then, he hears him on the phone with Hoseok. Both his ears go up in an attempt to hear. Even if they are downstairs now, he could hear a bit of their conversation.

"Hoseok, I don't know where Yoongi is. I haven't seen him since last night. What if he ran away?" Seokjin sighs and Yoongi can hear him pacing the living room.

"I doubt he ran away," Hoseok is heard. The phone is most likely on speaker mode. "Have you checked the closets? Yoongi likes small places."

Yoongi is actually surprised that Hoseok knows that. He didn't know that he was so obvious. Or maybe Hoseok is just more attentive than what Yoongi thinks.

Seokjin is coming back up the stairs. "Why would he be in the closets?"

Yoongi hears him enter a room. Hoseok responds, "I'm not really sure. I think it's a trauma response."

"Does he do this often?" Seokjin asks, now heading towards his room again.

"I don't really know. I usually don't notice because he's so quiet."

Yoongi squints his eyes at the bright light of the room when Seokjin opens the closet door. He gasps and immediately squats down in front of him.

"Yoongi! Are you alright? I've been looking for you!" He says, though he looks relieved that he finally found him.