Ambivalence - yoonseok

42- h e a t_p t 2

Sorry for the late update! Take this spicy chapter as my apology 🫶🏾
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Unedited

He's in a towel sitting on the edge of his bed, swinging his legs and waiting for Hoseok to come back. He had already chose some clothes to wear all by himself but he wanted Hoseok to help him put them on. Not because he couldn't, but because he liked the feeling of Hoseok's skin against his.

He would be lying if he said it didn't encourage inappropriate thoughts to occur in his mind. Because Hoseok's touch left him craving for more. He did his best to compose himself while in the bath but now, the heat was getting too much. His abdomen was boiling, skin burning, and cheeks flushed with a hot blush. The thought of being with Hoseok made him antsy. Though, he knows its a long shot, he'd love to try.

"Hey, do you need help?" Hoseok asks softly, walking into the bedroom. He had just helped Jimin get an overnight bag ready and then Taehyung came and picked him up. The boy will be staying with Taehyung and Jeongguk tonight. He still doesn't know if they've worked everything out yet or not, but Taehyung seemed willing to help him and Jeongguk didn't mind. Truth be told, Hoseok is exhausted and jet lagged. But helping Yoongi is his first priority. He's never been in heat before.

Yoongi nods his head. He really doesn't need help putting clothes on. He just wants Hoseok's hands on him again. It may be perverted of him, but right now he doesn't care. He's never been this sexually frustrated and it's quite literally burning. It's like an itch he can't scratch.

Hoseok yawns, picking up his shirt. "Arms up, sweetheart." He says, standing in front of him.

Yoongi shyly lifts his arms up, allowing the towel to fall to his waist. His chest is bare and the cool air makes his nipples hard. Hoseok doesn't look at him, though. At least not in the way that he wants him to. He carefully pulls the shirt down over his arms, being mindful of his ears. Then he grabs the pants and squats down.

"Step in," he says.

Yoongi clenches his legs closed. He realizes that Hoseok is acting strictly as a caregiver. This whole time, he hasn't looked at him inappropriately or touched him inappropriately or even said anything along the lines of sexual. Hoseok doesn't see him that way. And honestly, he's never wanted him to look at him sexually until now. Now that his heat is amplifying his feelings for the human, he finds himself wanting to be desired by him.

Maybe he's overthinking too much but Hoseok has helped Jimin with his heats in the past. So why would it be any different with him? For as long as he can remember, going into heat was the scariest thing he ever imagined. But the circumstances were different. Back then, he worried about getting taken advantage of and abused more than he already had been. But now, he feels like he can have control over this. Yes, at first he was terrified, but Hoseok has shown that he'd never do anything he wouldn't want him to. That's enough proof to know he's safe.

The heat in his body is diminishing slowly due to the suppressants he took earlier. They won't fully get rid of it, but the cloudy haze of sexual desire is going away. Now he's stepped into reality. A reality where Hoseok only sees him as someone to care for. Not some to love or make love to.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Hoseok asks softly. He looks up at Yoongi with a frown.

The hybrid wipes his eyes and sniffles. It's weird. He feels unwanted but at the same time, he's thankful that Hoseok doesn't see him sexually. Maybe that's why he feels unwanted? Because he's so used to being sexualized and now that someone doesn't see him that way, he feels unwanted and insecure.

"C-can we..." he looks down at the towel wrapped around his lap. It's worth asking.

"Can we t-try something?"