The Empress Wears Gucci

44

        She sniffed. "You're still alive... right in front of me."

        Hua Er set herself across from us. "We can't let the Empress win. She took two things from us. Rong Er, and your title."

        "I agree. There must be something we can do." Guan Shu softly spoke. Her lips trembled as she wiped the rest of her tears with her sleeve. 

        Guan Shu had changed. Her eyes were dull. It is supposed that eyes are the windows to the soul, but when I look into her eyes, there was a blockage. I've never had anyone grieve in front of me. It was hard for me to look. It was also hard to comfort Guan Shu because I couldn't. I didn't know what to say or do. I should give her some space. This was a woman who had lost her only child... who was her only family. 

        I felt as if I was bothering her.

        "I—Guan Shu... I appreciate your service but," I thought about the words I could use. As of now, she was a fragile china piece, about to break any minute. "I need you to let me handle everything for now. Rest. I want to give you time."

          She was fine until I spoke. Her anguish cries created livelihood in the lifeless room. Hey, at least we lived in a palace. There was more space to do things... Even though it was so dusty and dirty. If she screamed, no one could judge her. 

         Carmen, stop. 

         I shook my head to prevent myself from the intrusive thoughts. I was never good at keeping a serious face in serious situations.

          Hua Er embraced Guan Shu from the side as she let her eyes speak.

        "T-Thank you." Guan Shu untangled herself from Hua Er and groggily walked to the small bed.

        It was hard to watch. Hua Er and I exhaled in unison, but it wasn't because of relief. There was nothing we could do to make her feel better. The only thing that could help her was to let her alienate herself away from us for a while. I pitied Guan Shu. As a maid, it's hard to isolate yourself from everyone else because it is your duty to provide service to everyone.

        I guess Hua Er noticed my thinking face because she moved her face closer to me. "What are you thinking about?"

         I furrowed my eyebrows, leaving the surrounding environment and trancing myself into thought. "Give me a few minutes, I need some time alone to think."

         Hua Er nodded. 

        As I sat there for a moment, my eyes fixating on the teacup in front of me, I noticed an unsettling disturbance of my thoughts. I looked up and made eye contact with Hua Er. 

        Was she still here?

        "I said alone, Hua Er." I tried not to smile. 

        "Sorry..." Hua Er mumbled and frolicked away. 

        It didn't take long for Guan Shu and Hua Er to fall asleep next to each other. I looked down at their peaceful faces and limp bodies. I could have sworn that I only spent five minutes thinking. A gradual smile spread across my face when I thought of their dedication and loyalty to me, something that was a very important value of mine. Loyalty was something I long and strive for... in any type of relationship.  

       A hard knock on the door caused me to jump.

       Did someone want to visit me in the Cold Palace? 

       Was it the Emperor? I gasped, louder than I thought it would be. Was this him coming to greet me, apologizing to me for the mistake he did? I planned the conversation in my head. I would yell at him, reject him, but beg him to get me out of here.