Bangtan Writers Reviews

Burden by @golden_breeze

Burden by golden_breeze
Review by kpop_trashbag

IMPRESSION BEFORE READING

I like the cover and title, they work together nicely and portray the concept of the book pretty well. I can see where the cover could be improved though. Like it kind of looks rough unless that's what you were going for. It's just my personal opinion or preference, but I would prefer if it was a little smoother. Overall, the cover's good. I like how it tells a story on its own. I'm not too fond of the font; it's a little hard to read, especially the part that says who it's by. The font could have been larger.

(I noticed that you changed your cover, I think I like the other one more although both covers are nice, the first one has that story feel to it that I was mentioning earlier, and I think the font is too bright and "lively" for the cover and the book's concept.)

I like the title, it fits with the idea of the book and can hold a heavy and deep meaning to it.

I wasn't into the description, the way you went about it was straightforward and unexpected. The way it was written also seemed emotionless, which is also a big reason it just didn't settle right with me. Hold some of that detail back, arouse your reader's suspense and don't spoil the book. I see what you were trying to do when writing that last sentence, but I don't think it should be in the description, at least not so bluntly. Make your readers curious. Write the description in a way that tells your readers what the book is about without being so straightforward while grabbing their interest.

You were switching tenses in your description, try sticking with one tense. The change of tenses makes reading less smooth. I personally prefer using past tense in descriptions, and I also think it sounds better that way, but that's up to you.

Ex.

All of the members knew that there's something wrong~

Should be-

All of the members knew that there was something wrong~

I think the description could have been written better to convey the book's theme and plot.

AFTER READING

Let me just say, I love the reason why you started writing this book. To me that says a lot about you as a person, and to write this book in order to educate and help others is something great.

Characters need more emotion and personality, they feel dull and lifeless. Don't just blankly write out their personalities or how they feel; showcase it too. Don't just state feelings, go into details so readers can relate more. Describe them in detail so readers can get a better connection with the characters. Dig deep into your own feelings, how would you feel in that character's position, what would you do like them. That's a way you could go about writing so its realistic because it's your feelings, not just the feelings that you thought up for your character.

I wished the characters had more going on for them instead of the usual stereotypical way people think BTS acts. You can keep that persona but add more to them than just that. I was dissatisfied with their display and found them unrealistic, and this is just from reading chapter one.

I wasn't impressed by the first chapter. It lacked a lot, and I felt like more could have been given to it. The first chapter is what's supposed to hook the reader in, but it failed to hook me in. I just wasn't into how the book was introduced. I thought it could have been better and had more of a meaning to it.