Bangtan Writers Reviews

Pretty by @Fandom_Hearts

Pretty by Fandom_Hearts
Review by ARILEZX

IMPRESSION BEFORE READING

My sincere apologies for being so damn late with your review <3

Title

Not really unique but still related to the story. Kinda plain tbh.

Cover

I am no designer myself but shouldn't it be both Namjoon and Seokjin on the cover?

Other than that, the cover wasn't really the eye-catchy type. Especially that font.

Description

There was no immediate problem with your description but if you ask me, I thought your language was too straightforward and blunt.

Try adding literary devices (like metaphors, analogy... etc.) or include some dialogues/quotes?

AFTER READING

I kind of liked your beginning.

Even though it was a really plain and predictable beginning, I thought it provided a stable base to your story and characters, so kudos to that <3

The introduction to your characters was pretty neat too.

Your writing style was basic, but you played it well with that.

Your plot had a nice message to it, despite it being somewhat overused.

FOCUSES

Plot.

Like I said before, I found your plot to be very common (especially here on wattpad).

But in all honesty, every story here on wattpad has some or other clichés in it. It all depends how as a writer you execute it.

I liked how you gave a specific background setting to every important scene in the story though!

Writing style.

There wasn't enough amount of descriptions in your story.

Vivid descriptions of small things like their school cafeteria, their appearance or small actions (like that of laughing, crying... etc.) really help your readers in imagining things alot better.

Don't just simply write 'Namjoon was crying', when you know it's one of the pivotal points of your stories

Describe his shining eyes. Describe the tears cascading down his cheeks. Make the readers connect with your stories. Intrigue them. Play with their emotions.

I am such a sadistic person.

ADVICE

Plot.

For me, there was only one fault with your storyline, and that was it being too predictable. You played it very safe.

I suggest adding some cliffhangers or plot twists to your story to at least keep the readers wanting for more.

A blunt approach tends to bore out the readers in the early chapters of the story.

Also, try keeping Seokjin more in the limelight? For the main protagonist, he wasn't really given justice.

Grammar.

° Remember to open and close speech marks to set dialogue apart from surrounding narration. At the end of a line of dialogue, if you use a dialogue tag, remember to use a comma before 'he said' or 'she said' instead of a full stop. The tag is still part of the same sentence.

e.g: "I wish you would stop being such an idiot," she grumbled.

° If a character's speech is interrupted by a dialogue tag or action, close and re-open speech marks. Commas always go inside the quoted speech, just before the closing quotation mark, and just before the speech marks re-open. Here's an example:

"I wish you would stop interrupting," she said, holding up her palm, "and let me finish!"

° When you have a new speaker, you should create a new paragraph line.

Writing style.

I already mentioned the flaws in your style but I'll repeat them.

° Don't hesitate from describing pivotal scenes in your stories. Just make sure not to overdo it.

° Read more books to grasp the art of writing a good story with excellent descriptions and intriguing dialogues.

° Expand your vocabulary. Learn new words and phrases.

ENDING NOTE

I am definitely sticking around for more! Your book has a wonderful message in it <3

Keep writing and inspiring <3

We remind you to credit us, thebtswriters, and your reviewer, ARILEZX, in the description of your story for giving you a review. Thank you for requesting!