Bangtan Writers Reviews

The Wonderful History by @JclynKana

The Wonderful History by JclynKana
Review by exodaddykokobop

IMPRESSION BEFORE READING

cover- beautiful. even though too bright for my liking, it was neat.

title- captivating.

description- limited but sufficient to give the appropriate explanation.

AFTER READING

first off- thank you for writing this book. your message is thorough and genuine--it almost made me cry. i cannot help but agree that even to this day handicapped individuals- despite all the modern facilities they adapt to- still do not feel enough of; that they are still neglected; and that they are pushed aside and laughed at. the feeling they encounter of being a flaw amidst the "perfection" of this world is truly heartbreaking.

it's truly remarkable to see how you gave that entire prospect a voice- a sense of feeling in itself. especially, through a person- named Soekjin- who was ever so ready to look past the "flaw" of such an individual and befriend her- it was touching. this is how it should be like.

now, for the rest of the areas- as much as i am a big fan of your plot, i'm afraid i found a lot of errors throughout the entire process of reading.

the flow was uncommonly fast. with this plot, i'm one hundred percent sure you could take things at a moderate pace and let the chapters speak for themselves at a serene pace.

i enjoyed the exchanges between Soekjin and Hyemin, but it was too rushed. i felt what could have been said in a few chapters with proper background and answers, you just wanted to jump right at tale without further delay.

the next thing was your grammar. there was a lot of errors there, and most unavoidable too. also, there were places i found to have missing words.

FOCUSES

since you did not specify any particular prospect to talk about, i'll just talk about the ones i feel are necessary to be highlighted.

character development-

now, you made Soekjin's character absolutely loveable from the beginning. however, there was this missing part that stuck out throughout, you know? your pace of the story was solely to blame. it was due to that, the characterization seemed a little plain and all too rushed.

plot-

unique with a powerful voice to outshine the rest. i loved the plot as i mentioned above. each idea to represent such a tale is definitely interesting and captivating.

grammar-

disoriented. also, this one i mentioned above.

ADVICE

for most of us, english is not our first language, and it's truly understandable we still make mistakes every now and then. to reduce such issues, do the followings;

° read. read a lot and see how to avoid the simplest mistakes. baby steps would help you to improve. this would also enable you to measure the pace, the amount of information you need to give in each respective chapter, and also to make you understand how much time you actually need before disclosing the plot all at once.

° sometimes, talking to yourself in the language you are trying to master helps. imagine yourself standing in front of a massive crowd and giving a speech on a selected topic- this could contain the most childish topics, no shame in that. this way if you ever stumble upon a new word, you can apply it into a fully formed sentence, and who knows, might as well use it for your next chapter?

° enrich your vocabulary. your usage of words throughout the book was somewhat limited. as i've said plenty other times- words have a severe impact on the tale you tell in areas of clarity and specificity.

° proofread. now, not all of us have all the time in the world to retrace our steps and rectify our mistakes. but honestly, this is what we must do. to avoid repeated errors and to know where we presently stand, we have to see if we can alter a few things here and there to change the impact overall.

° try a proofreading and spell check software. they certainly help fix many unnoticeable mistakes and spare a lot of time.

ENDING NOTE

hope my criticism was of help and gives you even the slightest insight of your sought inquiries. you have a great mind to come up with unique ideas- cherish it. all the best for your future projects!

We remind you to credit us, thebtswriters, and your reviewer, exodaddykokobop, in the description of your story for giving you a review. Thank you for requesting!