Bangtan Writers Reviews

Roses by @Gizmo_Writes

Roses by Gizmo_Writes
Review by catchumylife

IMPRESSION BEFORE READING

Cover: Lovely cover! Stands out and matches the theme of the story.

Title: Eye-catching and relates to the story. I would remove the "Wonderland!au" part and move it to the description.

Description: There appears to be two descriptions. One on the top and one after the line break. Both are great, and they capture my attention, but sometimes more is not always better; I recommend you to only choose one of the descriptions and to stick with it. That will make the description of your book cleaner and more concise.

AFTER READING

"Refreshing" is the perfect word to describe this book. Alice in Wonderland is a wonderful book, and I'm so glad that you are playing with that concept. Black rabbit? Madder hatter? Son of the Queen of Hearts? This whole entire "next generation" thing that's going on is fascinating. I also think the pacing of this story is perfect.

However, there are a few issues to which I want to bring attention. The descriptions are there, but they could be improved. I also think that it's better to stick to one point of view in this story for more clarity. You might want to spell check, too, for there are typos sprinkled throughout chapters.

This is my personal preference, so I'll be quick. If you have an announcement, please dedicate it to an A/N at the bottom of the chapter or on your message board. Making A/N chapters, which I am also guilty of sometimes, will interrupt the readers' "flow" while reading, and may discourage them to continue.

FOCUSES

Plot

I really like the plot pacing of this story. I don't have much to say about it other than it's well-developed and easy to follow. Well done!

Characters

I think the characters are well-expressed in writing and I absolutely adore how well you created the chemistry between Taehyung and Y/N. It makes my heart jump every time.

However, I do think Taehyung's past could be communicated better. The introduction of Soojin is too sudden and late for readers to empathize with her or Taehyung. I wish Soojin was at least mentioned earlier, or more clearly foreshadowed so that there is enough build-up for the emotional rollercoaster.

Writing Style

POV and Time Changes - You should try to stick to one Point of View as much as possible, especially if the book only has one main character. Many cases (not all) of jumping from perspective to perspective are actually counterproductive. They do not communicate information in an effective way, and in fact, may confuse readers. The same applies to using in medias res.

In chapter four, you have a switch from Y/N's point of view to Seokjin's. Seokjin basically explains how Y/N's appearance in Wonderland is interesting. However, this message could have a much bigger impact if you stick to Y/N's perspective and show Seokjin's piqued interest through his body language (he couldn't stop staring at her, he was smirking at her). Even using dialogue is much more effective and adds a much more dramatic effect.

In chapter six, you have an inappropriate time leap in the middle of the chapter. It's too abrupt (and also literally abrupt, as the sentence was also cut off), to the point where the chapter becomes confusing. When I begin reading the time skip, I'm not inclined to continue reading because I am too busy figuring out how the description of a castle is related to Y/N wanting to go home.