oceans of mercury by KOOKIPLIER
Review by exodaddykokobop
IMPRESSION BEFORE READING
title- catchy, given it is a sci-fi story. it readily generates anticipation as well as intrigues the readers to get to know the true meaning behind it. honestly, i'm still in the process to decode it, but i'm assuming it's related to the deposition of the androids we speak of and not solely the case they are to decode? (i could use a lil' help here since sci-fi isn't my thing!)
cover- not really appealing, honestly. i like the concept, true, but the colour composition seems a bit too odd. even the font used is too close to each other which caused "of" to be hidden behind namjoon's head. like, use a considerable space in between to make it understandable, or maybe try a different type of font altogether.
description- definitely informative. whatever you have described thus far in the story, definitely matches with the description- no misleading. i personally liked how it didn't go for long, nor was too short. it creates mystery, thrill and lets the readers anticipate the tale in the coming. well done!
AFTER READING
i was genuinely impressed with the whole plot. though we still have a long way to go, i love the collective pace, and how you took your time to execute each of the given components. the way you presented each chapter showed you really did your planning cautiously.
it's not easy to write sci-fi, truly, it isn't. it even shows how you are rushing things to get the story done with a bunch of science "materials ", but is rather careful of what you say, and your vocabulary supports your telling immensely. the simplicity of your vocab was engaging as well.
however (i think it's more subjective what i am about to say), the layout of the chapters kinda stuck out for me. i guess i am too used to read stories in a left-hand format than to a right-hand one.
there in places, i saw slight mistakes, which i'll talk about in the advice section.
FOCUSES
first impression- the title and the description appealed me greatly, and the title was the only reason why i read the book in the first place too if i'm being honest.
the glossary you provided was very informative, and shows yet again, how thorough you have been whilst planning.
writing style- simply beautiful. you have a good command on the whole prospect of telling a story with strong figures of speech and your word placement is very interesting too.
characters- well defined and structured. since you only have written three chapters thus far, with dedication to each of the (main) characters involved, it's still a bit hard to completely focus on the aspect of their characterization as a whole. overall, the prelude to each one was certainly understandable and unique, i'll definitely stick around to see the results.
ADVICE
honestly, there was very limited mistake in your work. aside from the abnormal arrangement (again, i'm used to the left-hand layout, so it's totally subjective), your punctuation was a bit out of place.
in a place, where you were supposed to write (first chapter) detective's eye, you wrote detectives eye. now, it could be easily overlooked since it doesn't concern most of us and we know the real deal. this also kind of changes the sentence structure a bit.
like, you wanted to say something related to the subject, but due to the lack of the apostrophe, it becomes the plural of detective, which in turn is sort of unfitting. hopefully, i made sense there.
ENDING NOTE
you have an amazing grasp on the whole writing method, and there remains nothing in my part but to wish you all the best for your works.
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