heartbreak girl | s.m.

47 | as good as it gets

chapter playlist ⏯
• angel - finneas
• since we're alone - niall horan
• us - james bay & alicia keys

———
a couple weeks later
gemma clark <<<

me
helllloooooo

shawn
what

me
i called and you didn't answer :(

shawn
sorry. been busy.

Then my phone rang, and I answered it immediately.

"Hey," I said. "If you're busy then this can totally be postponed. It's not—"

"Well, you called and texted me, so obviously it's important," he replied, but not in a very joke-y way. Jeez. He must be pretty stressed out to snap at me.

"I just wanted to talk, because we haven't talked all day. I didn't know you were busy. I sincerely apologize. I'll just try again later," I said, and I hung up before he could say anything. I know he didn't mean to be rude, but it still hurt my feelings a little bit. I just wanted to talk. I obviously didn't mean to make him upset.

When my phone rang a few seconds later, I knew it was him. I decided to be the bigger person and get over it.

"I'm sorry," he said when I answered. "This has just been the most stressful day of my life and everyone always wants something from me and I'm exhausted. I'm sorry for snapping. All I want is to talk with you."

"It's okay," I replied. It was. "Is now actually a good time? Don't do anything for my sake."

"It's a good time," he told me. Then he sighed. "I just want to be home with you."

"I want that, too. It feels like I haven't seen you in years," I replied. I'm so dramatic.

"It's been three days, Gem," he said. And he had a point.

"But I completely get it," he added. "I've been missing you since the moment I left."

What a sweetie.

"Aw," I said. "Someone's gotta crush."

He chuckled. "I have a huge crush. Being away from my crush sucks."

I giggled, so pathetically satisfied with being called his crush. The guy has literally said that  he loves me and that he would die for me, yet being called his crush really strikes my fancy.

He sighed. "I guess we should get used to all this, though."

"Why?" I asked. I really hope not.

"Because in the fall, you'll be in New York and I'll be on tour and we'll never see each other," he explained.

I frowned. "I never said I was going to New York."

"Oh come on, Gem. Obviously you are. You don't have to keep pretending that you haven't made up your mind yet. It's cool," he told me.

It's cool. Like it's that simple.

"Are you...do you..."

I was going to ask something along the lines of "is it actually cool or are you just saying that for me?" but I decided against it.

"I'm still not a hundred percent sure," I said, which was sort of true. Who knows what could change?

"But you're sure enough," he replied. "I'm happy for you, Gem; I really am. It's gonna suck, but it's nothing we can't get through. I'll be gone anyway, so it's not even that big of a deal."