46 | feelings

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chapter playlist
• not today - imagine dragons
• feelings - lauv
• beside you - 5 seconds of summer

———
gemma clark <<<

I woke up in my bed. Well, I remember waking up on the floor and seeing Shawn hovering over me, trying to get me to wake up. And I did, and we had the following conversation.

me: [sitting up] hey, you're home

shawn: [still visibly shaken up] did you pass out?

me: [looking around] it appears that i did.

shawn: [puts his hand on my forehead to feel for a fever] oh my God, gemma. are you okay?

me: i think so

shawn: do you need to go to the hospital or anything? i can take you.

me: [shakes head] no way. i feel fine. i just need to get to my bed and that'll be good.

And then he picked me up and carried me to my bed, bringing the saltine crackers with us. I spilled my glass of water all over the floor during the fainting, so he cleaned that up. He's an absolute angel.

shawn: why can't i leave you alone for an hour and a half without you almost dying?

me: i don't think i almost died.

shawn: you could have hit your head or something.

me: i'm sorry that my body does a horrible job of being my body

shawn: yeah, it kinda sucks.

me: [laughs] how was the studio?

shawn: good, but now i'm scared to leave you alone again. i told you you need me here.

me: i don't need you. i would have woken up eventually.

shawn: okay, sure. but i think this is a better scenario.

me: i agree.

shawn: no fever though, so that's improvement, i guess

me: i'd say so

[no one says anything for a few moments]

shawn: like, i know that i love you a lot, but you never really know how much you love someone until you walk in on them lying unconscious on the floor. i felt like my life flashed before my eyes.

me: [chuckles] i've never had that experience, but i can imagine.

shawn: [sits down next to me and falls onto his back] holy shit, gemma.

me: what

shawn: i'm just a little flustered, that's all. you're sure you're okay?

me: i'm positive. i've passed out with the flu before. people pass out all the time

shawn: i know, but...well, i don't know. it's just a scary thing. for me, at least. you could have mentioned that you sometimes pass out when you get the flu, also.

me: i know. my bad. and i appreciate that you're scared. but i'm just fine. if something doesn't feel right, i'll tell you, okay? but i think i'm good right now.

shawn: okay. i just worry about you.

me: yeah i know. i appreciate it.

shawn: wanna try eating?

me: [nods] very much. that was my intention when i got up to go to the kitchen.

shawn: well, maybe we'll have more success this time

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