Underneath it all

You're a monster.

The next day Kylo felt numb.  He went through the motions of his day.  Hux never appeared and no one asked.

By mid-afternoon his head ached, the energy it took to block his mother's face from his mind taking its toll, leaving him drained.  He headed to his quarters and once there he sat down heavily at his desk, pulling off his mask and closing his eyes, trying to still the tempest of emotions that swirled around inside him.  He rested his head on his arms on the desk, exhausted and spent and very soon he was sleeping.

He was listening to banging.  Loud explosions that tore through the silence of the Forrest and then there was screaming, the faces of the slain appearing in front of his eyes, most he recognised from Chandrilla the previous day and then he was heading to a hole in the rocks and peering in, seeing just a dark pool of blood and there, in the centre of it, two floating bodies.  He reached out to touch them and they both spun quickly over onto their backs, screams ringing through the air as Kylo dropped to his knees at the sight of his parents faces.

Kylos eyes flew open a sob leaving his lips, sweat and tears running down his face as he slowly straightened up, lifting his head from the desk. He brought a shaky hand up to push his hair off his face and then stopped.  Someone was there in the now darkened room "Why?" Came a voice from some hidden corner.  It was Rey.

Kylo stood quickly, very much awake now, his eyes scanning the shadows. "Why what?" He said simply, still not able to locate her. A movement and she emerged from near the door. Her face was slick with tears, her eyes red. Her hair hung down around her face, his first time seeing her like that. She looked beautiful. Kylo shifted, his eyes roaming her face as he saw her struggling to speak. "Why come after us now? Your mother is dying, you knew we wouldn't stand a chance..." Rey said miserably, her head dropping and her shoulders slumping. Kylo went to answer and then stopped as his mind went over what Rey had said, did she believe his mother to still be alive?

Kylo stepped closer to Rey but she stepped back, her face full of anger. "My mother is gone Rey" Kylo said looking into Rey's eyes. Rey's face darkened and her hands balled into fists at her sides, "No she's not, you're lying! Poe has gone back for her, we hid her". Kylo stepped closer again and this time she didn't move but stood her ground fiercely, her eyes burning with rage. "I saw her die". Kylo said softly, a lump forming in his throat as he spoke. Rey's eyes swept over his face then and for a moment he saw a flicker of doubt which was quickly replaced with fury. Rey reached out towards him then, her hands making contact with him through the force and he stumbled backwards as her palms hit him square in the stomach, "You're a monster!" She screamed as he righted himself. "Your mother loved you...how could you.." she sobbed, her hands covering her eyes. Hesitantly Kylo approached her again, "I know she loved me Rey, she told me before she died". Rey's hands flew back into fists and she screamed into his face "You're lying, we will find her and I will tell her what you've done, you'll pay for this!" And with saying that the bond broke and Rey was gone.