Boy of my dreams <<Mattia Polibio🦖

Part 24

5am
I'm still awake. Every time I close my eyes, I see Mattia and Jo pushing me down, making me cry.
What did I do to deserve such shit.

6am
It's been one hour now and I still stare at this ceiling. I really want to sleep for a little to rest but I can't. The day keep coming into my mind.

7am
I hate Mattia. I hate him so much he's a fucking prick. I never want to see him again.

8am
I wonder if Jo is at the hospital now. I hope I've added major injuries. I needed to teach this bitch some lessons.

9am
Hectors phone buzzes and I pretend to be asleep. He looks to my side and finally stands up.
When I hear him closing the door, I change into the clothes from yesterday and fold his clothes to put it on his bed.
My clothes smell like shit and there is still some blood from Jo.
I don't want to talk to anyone right know, my head is foggy that's why I want to find a solution to get out of here without being seen from Hector.

His window.

I open it, trying not to be loud and look down. Maybe 6 or 7 feet. This is possible but it could hurt a bit. I really don't care. I crawl out of the window and without hesitating I jump down hurting my hand a little.
Where should I go?
First of all I need my stuff but that means I have to go back to Mattia.
No I can't do that. The memories would come after me all day. Maybe for the rest of my life.
I feel like a homeless heartbroken girl right now but what if I just call my aunt to pick me up. It's only an 2 hour's drive.
I have to show Mattia I am stronger than all this that means I need to move my heart broken ass to him.

I really like short walks but this time it is way too short. I stand in front if his house now. All the good memories cross my mind making me weak. I look for their car but here isn't one. To my luck that means that his parents are not at home.

I take one last deep breath before ringing the doorbell.
God I hate myself for doing this.
I hate myself for pulling up in front of his house. What if he thinks that I want him back? Because it just looks like it. Me being the one in front of his house when it should be him.

No answer.
I ring again, this time longer.

Still no answer.
Just when I'm about to turn around to walk away, the door opens and my heart stops for a second making me gasp.

I don't know what to do so I just slap him first of all. My eyes are filled with tears again and I see his girlfriend in front of me, being happy and having fun with Mattia. Then suddenly I appear and her heart breaks. Poor Natalie.
Why do I always have to blame myself for everything?
When I focus again his cheek turns red from the slap.

He closes his eyes and opens his mouth to say something.

"I don't want to hear your dirty apologizes... just give me my stuff and I'm done with you." I interrupt him.

„Please just hear me out." He begs.

„No! It's the same thing all the time. I listen to you and forgive you but this time I can't no matter how much I want. You have a fucking girlfriend for fucking TWO years without telling me, and if thats not enough you asked me to be your fucking girlfriend on your fucking two years anniversary." I scream at him trying not to break down, I still can't believe what he did.

„I know I'm a fucking asshole.-"

„Yes you are and I hate you I fucking do." I interrupt him again and can't hold my tears back any longer. „Did you tell her? Did you tell her you had another girlfriend behind her back?! Did you? And and- when was the last time you talked or texted her. Be honest!" I command.

„She doesn't know about you ... and I called her after we fought yesterday. Before the party." He looks away, embarrassed.

„Screw you Mattia! When did you want to tell me hm?! When?!" I slap him again but this time with more strength. His hand goes up to his cheek and I can see the pain in his face because of his expression. Fuck it. He deserves it.

„Please listen! I wanted to tell her!" He screams back.

„But you didn't! Am I right?" I throw my hands in the air.
Mattia looks at his shaky hands and I can't look at him any longer. All I feel around him is pain. Everything good that happened between us just disappears after the thought of what he did to me.

„Where were you last night?" He asks in hope I forget the question I asked him.

„Did you tell her?!" I shout again.

„No but I was about to do that." He nearly whispers and tries to step closer.

„Don't you dare!" I pull away and my eyes hurt from crying all the time. „Do you see what you did to me? Look at me. I'm desperate. I don't know what to do now." His eyes looking up and down at me.

I can't do this any longer. I'm going home. Home to Bronx.

„Bring me my stuff or I will take them by myself." I turn around so that he can't see my crying face anymore.

When I hear footsteps become quieter and quieter and sit down on the stairs, burying my head in my hands. I start sobbing way too loud. Why would he do something like that to me?
Everything could be different now if I just never fell in love with Mattia.

I hear him coming downstairs but I can't stand up. „So that's it?"

I look up to him and his eyes are bloody red.

When he sees my still sitting on the stairs he joins me but I sit further away.
„Yes that's it Mattia." I say grinding my teeth. Saying these words make my heart break even more.

He nods dropping a tear.
„One last question." He stops. „Where were you last night?"

„I don't know why I should tell you that?" I take my suitcase stand up and look to the ground to escape his sad, red eyes.

„Please tell me."

„Hector.
He picked me up from the hospital when it should have been you. He was the only one who really cared about me." I shake my head in disappointment still looking to the ground.

„I wanted to pick you up.-"

„But you did not!" I interrupt him once again wiping my tears away.

„Did you.. kissed him." He suddenly changes the subject and nearly chokes, saying the word 'kissed'.

„Yes, I kissed him." My blood is boiling. „and he kissed me back and that's exactly what I wanted." My eyes travel back to his and I see tears dropping down to the ground. I bite the inside of my cheek, take my suitcase and start walking away with glossy swollen eyes. Seconds later I hear the door shut behind me making me cry again.