Shadows Of My Heart (poetry from the soul; for the soul)

Vicariously

Do you remember the days when time felt a friend,

Willing to play our little game,

Bound by the rules thereof,

And the fairness of its foundation?

When did it happen?

So gradually,

Yet spontaneously?

As I gaze upon an older me,

With wonder of where the time went.

It seems to be years,

But feels like days, minutes, seconds, moments.

Take me back to when nothing mattered but shared happiness,

When pride knew no place in our little hearts,

And innocence flourished in our souls.

It seems as though time was tricking us all along

Its intentions never to be fair,

Never to be a friend,

Never to lose in this sick game of life.

And as we gaze sourly at the selfish ticking of its hands we know,

We've changed forever.

Innocence has abandoned the ship of our souls,

Seeking refuge in the open seas that surround us,

If only we seek it we might drown.

How then do we live without it?

How then do we survive?

Must we sit In consuming silence?

Must we meet it in a child's eyes?

Restored by a humility the world has bid us leave;

A supposed weakness.

Is it possible to capture happiness in a child's hug?

And not be stifled by its sincerity?

We do not know,

Though our hearts ache for the answers.

We can only hope that now through them

There is hope,

Through them we feel free,

And know that true happiness exists.

But how long must we bear this bitter sweet pain,

Of living so vicariously?