Shadows Of My Heart (poetry from the soul; for the soul)

Black Love; Does it exist?

 Black love; does it exist?

Or is it something that I try to grab,

But only end up beating at with my empty fist.

A proverbial carrot of a wish,

Dangling on a string of lies,

Right in front of my eyes,

As though some prize,

To be chased after even if you have to compromise.

I'm tired,

Tired of the lies, the betrayals,

The unnecessary drama,

The love we refuse to label as trauma.

I thought we were bigger than this,

I thought we knew better,

I thought that I could cling to the hopes of it all,

Like I did with your sweater,

I thought many things but I never believed,

That you would one day pull your pants up and roll up your sleeves.

Oh the turmoil,

Oh the better sweet pleasure,

That somehow left me numb,

As I poured out my love beyond measure.

The soft kisses and the sweet caress

The acts of feigned kindness only done to impress.

Was it all an act,

Was it all a show?

You keep shooting arrows

And then hiding the bow.

Oh the high and the low;

One moment we're fine the next we're filled with sorrow.

Black love; does it exist?

Or should this fairy tale, today goodbye I kiss

I came in wide eyed, clinging to this hypothesis,

Surfing on the highs of this bliss

But soon the waters grew turbulent,

Or was it eerily calm?

And in the next moment I was drowning and pulling you along.

Give me some silence, some space,

A moment to catch my breath.

Let me break through the surface of these waters,

And see the sun set.

Let me make the final conclusion to the hypothesis I once enjoyed,

Does black love exist?

Or is it null and void?