Heartbreak Boy~ a.i.

chapter fifty-eight.

Liv's POV

4 months... It's been exactly 4 months since me and Ashton decided we needed a break. 4 months i've been sad and hurt. 4 months i've been feeling nothing while he's living his life by being happy. 4 months my heart remained broken while his never shattered.

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Ashton's POV

Mia just left my house from this tour meeting we had as a band. She's going on tour with us... yay!

its been... i think... 4 months since me and Liv talked and i've been doing my best to remain happy. its really hard knowing im always coming home to an empty room, and empty bed, or just an empty house in general. I miss her... a lot. I know i look like i've been doing great without her when really, my heart breaks when i see one picture of her. Calum, Luke, and Michael told me that she's not doing good. She always stares at blank walls, zones out a lot, and she hasnt been going out lately to hang with friends. She's still with Carson and Matthew and i've been getting the same feedback from them as i do from the boys. i thought that i was doing bad, but Liv is doing worse.

"Dude, Ash, you guys have to talk this out. She hasnt left her room this past month and im really worried about her." Carson said. He was basically Michael's "brother" so he comes to band practice all the time.

"i cant. we promised each other 8 months. its only been 4 months... but i do miss her alot." i said with a sigh because i knew it would be the right thing to do if i checked on her just like Carson said.

"Please. just check if she's ok. im begging you." Carson pleaded. i actually felt bad for him because he has to watch over her, but she wont let anyone into her room. She's shutting down and pushing away the people who cares so much for her.

"alright. alright. i'll go after practice." i said giving in to his pleading. He sighed in relief and muttered a 'thank you'.

Liv's POV

i dont know how much longer i can do this. i know this whole thing was my plan, but i thought that we didnt feel the same about each other back then. It was because jealousy was taking over me. I dont know what to do anymore. I know Carson and Matthew and the boys are trying to help, but i wanna do this myself. its my fault were in this mess so its my job to fix it.

I'm not giving up on us Olivia. I love you.

his words kept replaying in my head.

"sorry Ashton. one day we'll be together." i muttered. i got up from my bed and walked up to the door. i cracked it a little open to see if anyone was there. no one. Now was my chance. i took my phone with me and headed to the bathroom. Carson has a cabinet full of meds so i thought maybe... overdose?

I whipped out my phone and set it on video mode.

"umm...I dont know what's wrong with me," i cried. "but i just hate myself because i lost the one thing i love the most in life because of the decision i made. Im sorry for placing a heavy burden on your shoulders. right now, i dont really see the point of talking, communicating with people, or even living for that matter.... i guess that's it. bye" i cried. i ended the video and i texted it to the people im most closest to.

"im giving up Ashton... and im sorry, for everything." i muttered. i searched through the cabinets for meds. i didnt know that Carson cleaned this cabinet out. this used to be filled with his mother's meds, even razors. i first found a razor so i decided to use it. The carvings i did a couple months ago are now just scars and i havent cut ever since. Today was the day i relapse and fail my fellow friends.