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His words never leave my head. There is no way to ignore Trigon. He will keep pestering you and pestering you. Just when you think he's given up, his voice will return.
''Raven! Are you alright?'' My mother rushes into my room, obviously awakened by my screams. The tears have stopped now, but the blood from my chapped lips hasn't.
''I'm fine,'' I choke out, wiping the blood off with the back of my hand. Despite the pain, I carry on biting my lip, until the skin breaks away again.
''You are not fine, Raven,'' Arella says. ''You can't bottle everything up.''
I stare at my mother, and I cock my head to one side. ''But I can.''
Since Azar's death, the cold barrier between my mother and I grows thicker. I feel isolated in my world behind this screen. The only person who can reach me is Ariel.
''It's him, isn't it?'' The way the word ''him'' rolls off her tongue reinforces the absolute hate she has for Trigon. She can't even say his name. The hate, the disgust and the fear. She feels these emotions for Trigon.
And for me. I am Trigon's daughter. I breed the hate, the disgust, for I am his offspring. Even if I hate the fact that he is my father, I cannot change it. There will always be him inside me. Always.
''Raven, whatever he told you, you are not to go,'' she says. That's one of Arella's strengths. She can tell exactly what I'm thinking about, even if she is only human.
''I must,'' I answer, and I can already hear Trigon's sickening whisper.
''Good girl.''
''The only way to see him is through the Great Door.'' She pauses, trying to decipher my facial expression. ''You are not going to.''
''Fine,'' I answer, and I fiddle with my fingers. ''I won't.''
Trigon's voice intercepts my thoughts, knowing what I am going to do.
''But you will.''
Arella walks out and starts to walk down to the lecture room to prepare with the Azarathian Monks. I grab one of my books, and I start to read to get my mind off things but, soon, the repulsive whisper returns.
I try my best to fight it, but the urge is too strong this time.
''Raven. We have discussed this, haven't we?''
I nod, straight on instinct, without needing to think about my actions.
''We are going to do this one step at a time.'' He pauses. ''You are going to be a good girl, aren't you?''
I nod a second time, completely under Trigon's power. There is nothing I can do to fight back. Besides, I was planning on doing this anyway.
