Alternate Timeline- Bardock's Earthly Adventures

Chapter 46: Pilaf! Again?!

It was a very heartfelt reunion. The others stood on the sidelines, pestering Bardock with nonstop questions. 'Who what when how why' blah blah blah. Bardock didn't care. It was good to see the old man again.
"So who trained you? Your dad and master Roshi?" Gohan was smiling the entire time. So stereotypical of him. Even when he explained that he didn't have much longer on this plane, he never stopped smiling. Gohan walked over to Bardock.
"Well it's good to see you again, squatter." He wore a friendly grin upon his old worn face.
"Same to you, mustache." Bardock returned the grin on his own unaging face. They may have sounded like insults, but the smiles on their faces were genuine as could be.
"I'm glad to see your son hasn't destroyed this world. Or you, for that matter." Gohan chuckled, calling to mind their first meeting.
"You know we got bored with that idea on the second day." Bardock snorted, not entirely telling the truth.
"What happened to the dōgi I gave you? I can't help but notice your armor is fixed. Well, almost." Gohan drew attention to his one cracked rib plate.
"I've got it in a bag. It started to smell after a few years of not washing it. Also torn from the nonstop fighting we've been doing." Bardock shrugged.
"Opened up about your past?" Gohan asked, locking eyes with the taller saiyan.
"Nope." Bardock returned the gaze.
"Told him how I died?" Gohan inquired, still smiling.
"Nope." Bardock winced at that one.
"Will you?" Gohan stood as straight as an arrow.
"Maybe." Bardock shrugged.
"Hey, What are we talking about?" Goku interrupted.
"Nothing!" The two fighters quickly denied.
"Oh that's right! Look grandpa!" Goku dumped out the pouch of dragonballs, and picked up the four star Dragonball.
"Heh? That old thing? Why do you have a bunch of them." Gohan asked obliviously.
"Well Mr. Gohan, your grandson's life has changed because of those rocks." Bulma entered the conversation.
Bardock would've payed more attention to what she was saying, but Yamcha and Krillin both confronted him.
"Ok so you are Goku's dad." Krillin confirmed.
"No duh." Bardock hadn't a clue where this was going.
"And he calls Gohan grandpa." Yamcha reiterated.
"Glad your ears work. Is that all?" Bardock would've left, but there was no where to go.
"Do you even know what a grandpa is?" Krillin accused.
"Yeah. An old guy. Like him." Bardock lied.
"No. A grandpa is what you call your father's father." Yamcha explained.
"Ok, slow down." Bardock began to lose track.
"So we got to know: is Gohan your dad?" Krillin asked.
"What? Kami no! I'm a pure blood saiyan through and through!" Bardock huffed. Their attention was drawn by Baba, who hopped off her orb.
"Cmon, let's get this over with!" Baba shouted. Did she have an inside voice?
Now all eyes fell to Gohan.
"Well. Guess I'll be heading back to the afterlife. I'll be seeing you all eventually. And Goku. I look forward to watching you grow into the man your father sees."
Bardock's eyes widened.
'Way to drop the ball, old man.'
"Ok then. Bon Voyage." And he was gone.
"Hey now! It's divination time!" Baba yelled.
She stared into the ball she had been perched atop.
"Hoi Hoi Hoi No Hoi Sas-Saaaah" The ball started glowing.
"Hmm Hmm. It's moving. It's inside a car. The car is approximately exactly 200 km that way." She pointed. Goku grinned.
"Oh nimbus!" Once again, the cloud appeared.
"Hey dad! How big is 200 kill meagers?" Bardock groaned.
"Fine, I'll come with." And the father son duo was off.
"Guess we wait..." Krillin remarked, watching the shrinking shapes of his two allies.
20 minutes later:

"Hey look! Is that the right car?!" Goku called to his father, eyeing a single black car on the road.
"It's the only car, Kakarot." Bardock grunted. It better be the right car. They didn't fly all the way out here for nothing.
"Oh yeah. Well, here I go." Goku hopped off his cloud and landed on the roof of the car. He moved his head in front of the windshield.
"Hey! Gimmie your dragonball!" He screamed over the howling wind. Naturally, whoever was driving panicked.
Goku stood on the road and yelled at the car as Bardock drew closer.
"Hey! You're those guys who tried to kill us!" Bardock glanced back at the car.
'Enemies? Not very strong...'
Three people exited the car. A tall women, a blue dog, and a blue child. . .
"Hey! You're right!" Bardock barked. He recognized them too! How'd they survive Kakarot smashing the castle?
"Just give up the ball and there will be no fuss." Goku ordered coolly. The three long time foes refused. Naturally.
"How about a gamble? If us three beat you two in a fight, we get all 6 you have. But if you win, you get our one."
"Deal!" Both saiyans yelled.
"O~~~oook! Here we go!" The blue man and his friends threw capsules out. They all jumped into combat suits hat looked quite familiar to Kakarot. After all, he had killed Commander Black. New to him however, was that all three of them sat argueing who would go first.
"Why don't you go first Kakarot?" Bardock asked in mock innocence.
"Ok!" He lunged at the smallest robot, punting it through a mountain. Bardock chuckled. As the other two went to grab their leader, Bardock talked strategy.
"Ok. You throw the little guy up in the air, and I will rip the arms off the big bot." He spoke as though it were the most casual thing ever.
"That would still leave one." Kakarot noted.
"Then aim good." Bardock nodded.

The robots returned. They surrounded the two. The smallest robot pointed in a direction. Goku turned his head to look. Fool. The biggest robot rushed him, but Bardock was faster. He tore the arms off the robot. He turned back to see Kakarot on fire! The smaller robot had a flamethrower! Kakarot hadn't aimed good! The tall robot yelled out to her compatriots.
"Sir, unit two is down!"
"Then we move to operation ostrich!" The blue one yelled. The two smaller robots combined, with the woman sitting on top.
"And now.... RUN AWAY!!! SMOKEY!!!"
The two saiyans stared blankly at the sprinting enemy.
"Hey wait, the Dragonball!
Bardock grabbed his son by the back of his shirt, noting that his pants had been completely burned off, and hurled him at the retreating robot. A satisfying explosion told him that Bardock's aim had been spot on.

Power levels:
Bardock: 12,593
Goku: 405
Krillin: 145
Yamcha: 140
Puar: 4
Upa: 2
Gohan: Dead
Fortune Teller Baba: 100
Ghost Usher: Ghost
Pilaf: 15
Mai: 11
Shu: 11