Alternate Timeline- Bardock's Earthly Adventures

Chapter 19: The Unstoppable Pilaf!

Our courageous crew of three(and Oolong) were rapidly approaching the final ball. Small talk ensued to pass the time.
"Ok, what were you gonna wish for Bulma?" Oolong asked, driving along.
"Ho-oh! I thought I already told you! A boyfriend!" Both Oolong and Bardock would have spit if they had had anything in their mouths.
"What?! We're risking our lives for a silly wish like that?!" Oolong yelped. Bulma was quite infuriated.
"Hmph! Oh really? Well what would you wish for little pig?" Oolong nearly drooled at the question.
"I would ask for-" Bardock cut him off abruptly.
"Frieza's lifeless mangled corpse at my feet. No, you know what? I'll just wish for Frieza to come here. Then I'll kill him myself." The entire crew sat in silence at what the saiyan said. The silence made him uncomfortable.
"Well Kakarot, What would you wish for?" Bardock asked his son. He thought a minute before answering.
"Well I would have wished to fight someone really strong, but you'd probably be stronger. So I'd wish to see our planet again." He said cheerfully. Bardock was shocked. The thought had never occurred to him. He was also surprised by Kakarot's words. He now felt guilty never telling him about his real home.
"Hey, Kakarot. I-" Bardock was slammed with an extremely brief glimpse of what was to come. But it was enough.
"BRACE!" He yelled as a rocket collided with the side of the car. Bardock didn't see what happened next. The explosion rocked him hard enough to get a good vision going.

Kakarot was on his cloud, tears in his eyes.
'I really got to teach him to fly without that thing.' He was chasing a strange green demon with large wings. Bardock had seen their sort before. The demon shot a blast from his mouth at Kakarot, destroying his cloud. He then batted Kakarot into the forest below. Bardock then saw the demons hands. In one, he held a dragonball. In the other, a stack of paper.

Bardock awoke to the sound of Bulma yelling at him.
"Oh thank Kami I knew it would take more then that to kill you." She wipes sweat from her brow. "Come on, they took the dragon balls."
Bardock sat up with a somber face.
"Well I guess we'd better go get em before someone else makes a pointless wish." He chuckled, tightening his trusty bandana. Tora's bandanna? Whatever. They had only walked a short distance when a scent Bardock had been keeping tabs on all journey got closer. He grinned as the bandit Yamcha entered his view.
"Need a lift?" He asked, hoping he didn't make a fool of himself.

Using the dragon radar, Bulma got a good read read on the location of the thief. It did not prepare them for the sight ahead of them. It was a humongous castle. The crew entered, Bardock at the lead, and slowly began creeping throughout the large stone castle. Bardock knew a trap when he saw one. This was definitely one of them. The rest decided to follow a trail of red arrows. Too late did Bardock realize they would activate the trap. He sprinted towards the rest of the crew, narrowly entering the room with everyone else as a door slammed shut behind him.
"Gwahahahaha! I can't believe you all fell for such a simple trick! Now!" Bardock didn't see where the voice was coming from, but he did become aware of a pink gas spilling into the room.
"What-" and with a single whiff, the mighty saiyan slept.

Bardock was walking around in who knows where. He saw a large yellow building that was kinda dome shaped. It reminded him of Planet Vegeta. He decided to go there. But before he entered, he looked off to his left and saw a large pod. It looked like a giant saiyan pod. Someone was entering it. Bardock hurried to catch a glimpse of who this space farer could be. He was surprised to see his grown son Kakarot entering the pod ahead of him. He was wearing the orange dōgi with blue underclothing Bardock was growing accustomed to seeing. He had a large sack on his hip, much like the one that currently held his dragonball. This was the most determined Kakarot had ever been. Moreover, his power was incredible. It well surpassed Bardock's own. But where was he going? He overheard Kakarot speaking to himself as the doors closed behind them.
"Alright! I've got 6 days to train as much as possible in order to save everyone on Namek. And thanks to these senzu, I can push myself harder then ever." Bardock stared in wonder. 'Namek?! The strange green planet? Why would he be going there?!"

Bardock woke long after everyone else. He witnessed Kakarot punching the wall. Everyone was pressuring him to create a hole. Bardock chimed in.
"How bout using your fancy turtle wave?" Kakarot turned in shock. He grinned as he brought his hands to his sides, mimicking the mighty turtle hermit once more.
"Kame..hame...HA!!" His beam was no where near as strong as the hermit's but it was better then before. It created a small hole, barely big enough for him to fit his hand in. From this hole Bardock could see their kidnappers. A blue child?, a midget ninja? and a military women. He reckoned she was in charge of the operation. The sky was dark. Bardock could barely see a source of bright light.
"It's over! They're making a wish!" Bulma cried. Bardock had an idea. He turned to Puar and Oolong and grinned.
"You two. Become as small as you can. I'm going to throw you." Bardock ordered, ready to throw a wrench into the bad guy's day. The two shapeshifters obliged, and hopped into his outstretched hand. Bardock focused for only a second before hurling the two out of the hole with all his might. The two landed next to the trio of villains. And for once in his life, Oolong has a good idea. He listened carefully, making sure to not to act prematurely. Bardock watched from the peeping hole with joy.
"Hey, someone else can take a look. I've already seen it." Bardock grinned as he slumped against the wall, waiting for the fateful yell. The three others looked at him quizzically, but didn't want to miss the show.
He could very faintly make out the words being said.
"Ahahaha! Finally! With these I can finally  wish for world domination!" There was a loud noise. All but Bardock saw the mystical Shenron appear, ready to carry out his purpose.
"Shenron!" I wish for-" the little blue child's wish was cut short by the single bravest-if not most perverted- pig in existence. Oolong yelled, "THE MOST COMFORTABLE PAIR OF PANTIES IN THE WORLD!!!" The trio of villains gasped as they snapped to glare at this strange swine. The dragon's eyes flashed, and as promised, a pair of pink panties fell from the sky, landing on Oolong's head. The villains howled with rage. Bardock grinned as the rest of his party celebrated the timing of their little pink pal.

Pilaf had just finished a good cry. He had locked that stupid swine and his stupid friends in a bigger, scarier jail that was made of metal, insuring that they won't be able to make any more holes. He had also arranged for the prison to be their execution, as he put a large super reinforced piece of glass above them, insuring that when the sun rose, he would get to watch those stupid heads boil. Then he'd only have to wait a full year to try again. Pilaf began to cry again.

Power levels:
Bardock: 12,438
Goku: 20
Bulma: 2
Yamcha: 13
Oolong(with panties): 5
Pilaf(sad): 14
Mai: 10
Shu: 10